Epic Humor Fail

January 12th, 2009at 09:58pm Posted by Eli

You know, contrary to popular progressve opinion, it is not impossible for conservatives to be funny.  I think some of Lileks’ Gallery Of Regrettable Food stuff is actually pretty funny, for example.  But the majority of right-wing attempts at humor are sabotaged by their own mean-spiritedness and smug self-regard.  Sometimes there’s the ugliness of bigotry mixed in as a special bonus.

There is really nothing quite so uncomfortable or embarrassing to watch than someone who thinks that they are sparkling with breezy, effervescent wit, when in actuality they are just making a clumsy ass of themselves.  It’s almost as bad as when the seemingly normal person you’re talking to starts casually dropping racial slurs.  Ann Coulter provides the worst of both worlds:

Say hello to Ann Coulter, author of the new book “Guilty.”

What word do you routinely misspell? The word “mis-spel”

What’s the name of your cell phone ring? Wagner’s Entire Ring Cycle.

What time did you get up this morning? 3:45 P.M.

When did you last cry and why? November 5, 2008. No particular reason.

How many emails do you receive a day, roughly? I’ve never received an email roughly. That sounds painful.

What’s your favorite letter? Paul to the Corinthians.

When’s the last time you volunteered? Where? This interview. It’s been a life-changing experience, by the way.

What did you have for breakfast? My usual: 6-egg omelette, pound of bacon, six pancakes, toast, gallon of orange juice — wait, that was Jerry Nadler’s breakfast. I had a grapefruit.

If you could have one superpower, which one would it be? The ability to decipher Barack Obama’s speech on race relations. Or, maybe x-ray vision.

Red or white wine? Yes.

Lincoln, Jefferson or Washington Memorial? There’s a memorial to Lincoln? I have to start getting out more. Maybe if I had a car…

Leg or breast (chicken, of course) As long as the chicken was raised in a tiny, uncomfortable box, I don’t care.

Yankees or Red Sox? Yankees because filthy foreigners are always telling them to go home.

Stewart or Colbert? I like the one pretending to be the low-I.Q. blowhard with the stupid political beliefs. I think his name is Jon Stewart.

Wow.  That is just painful.  No originality or imagination whatsoever (“I’ve never received an e-mail roughly”???).  She thinks she’s scintillating, but a reasonably clever 8th-grader could do better.  Being hateful and dishonest is bad enough; must she be unfunny too?

Entry Filed under: Republicans,Wankers

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