Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

January 7th, 2009at 07:26am Posted by Eli

The Weekly World News has discovered the real reason behind Steve Jobs’ mysterious weight loss and absence from this year’s MacWorld keynote:

Weekly World News sources inside Apple say that Jobs is hiding the real reason for his treatments: He wants undergo radical hormone replacement in order to make a run to become California’s first female governor in 2010. This is in contrary to the recent debacle at MacWorld, where hackers announced his supposed death.

“Steve Jobs has been a longtime supporter of women’s and transgender rights as CEO of Apple,” claims the source. “This move to do a total sex change upgrade speaks to his commitment to quality and strict hardware standards.”

Jobs is forgoing the keynote speech at MacWorld in order to continue hormone therapy, and prepare for the gubernatorial race, which would pit Jobs against steroid user Arnold Schwarzenegger and perhaps former eBay CEO Meg Whitman (reportedly also woman) for the top job in the Golden State.

This does not, however, explain why the keynote’s product announcements totally sucked ass.  A 17″ MacBook with a magic battery?  That’s your big news?  Really?

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News


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