Archive for February 25th, 2009

OMG Obama Is The BIGGEST LIAR OF ALL TIME!!!

The AP really need to get over themselves…

Once again, Republican shills at the Associated Press, on the day after our president gave what is universally recognized as one of the greatest and most important addresses of the past 100 years, launch a nit-picking fusillade of hair splitting, distortions, and outright lies.

Get this for the AP’s idea of just how bone-headed Obama’s speech really was:

OBAMA: “And I believe the nation that invented the automobile cannot walk away from it.”

THE FACTS: Depends what your definition of automobiles, is. According to the Library of Congress, the inventor of the first true automobile was probably Germany’s Karl Benz, who created the first auto powered by an internal combustion gasoline engine, in 1885 or 1886. In the U.S., Charles Duryea tested what library researchers called the first successful gas-powered car in 1893. Nobody disputes that Henry Ford created the first assembly line that made cars affordable.

http://news.yahoo.com/…

Well, gee, if Obama can’t tell the truth about who invented the automobile, what else will he lie about?  I don’t know how I can ever trust him now.

Seriously, that has got to be one of the lamest, most desperate gotchas ever.  I’d laugh at that one even if they were calling President Bush or (shudder) President McCain on it.

If you read the rest of the diary, it sounds like the car thing might actually be the highlight of the story…

(h/t Phoenix Woman)

4 comments February 25th, 2009 at 11:21pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Media,Obama,Politics,Wankers

And Harry Reid Continues To Suck.

He can’t even zing Republicans without looking like a tool:

A ten percent increase in the budget for Congressional operations was needed because Senate Republicans wanted to retain previous staff levels despite having lost roughly 20 percent of their ranks in the 2008 elections, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said Wednesday.

Congressional Republicans have been pouncing on any instance of wasteful spending they can find, but the congressional-operations line item will likely remain safe from their ire.

The one-tenth hike brings the budget for Congress itself to $4.4 billion.

Reid, asked about the increase at a press conference, initially dodged the question, speaking instead about spending in general.

The unsatisfied reporter repeated the question about a ten percent raise for the congressional budget. “How is that going to help get out of the depression?” she pressed.

Don’t blame us, said Reid.

“We had a situation — you should direct that question to Senator McConnell,” he said, referring to the Senate Minority Leader, “because we had trouble organizing this year. He wanted to maintain a lot of their staffing even though they had lost huge numbers. And the only way we could get it done is to do what we did. So you should direct that question to Senator McConnell.”

So… Harry, you’re saying that you totally caved to the unreasonable demands of the party with only 41 seats?  And you think telling us that makes you look good somehow?

Jebus, I think I’m going to have to send money to your Republican opponent next year.  Voting you out is the only way to get you out of the Senate leadership, and sacrificing one Democratic seat for a Majority Leader who actually acts like one would be a tradeoff I’d make any time.

(Of course, I thought the same thing when Daschle got voted out, that there was no way the Senate Dems could ever possibly replace him with someone worse…)

2 comments February 25th, 2009 at 09:28pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Democrats,Politics,Republicans

George Will Discovers The Manhug

…From a safe distance, of course.


“I don’t know when men started to hug each other, but hug they do, and look at that.”

It makes Will feel all… funny in his Bad Places.

February 25th, 2009 at 08:45pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Media,Obama,Republicans

When Life Hands You Lemons…

Mermaid
Steve Unwin

…Make yourself a mermaid:

[Nadya] Vessey’s mermaid tail was created by Wellington-based film industry wizards Weta Workshop after the Auckland woman wrote to them two years ago asking if they could make her a prosthetic tail. She was astounded when they agreed.

She lost both legs below the knee from a medical condition when she was a child and told Close Up last night her long-held dream had come true. “A prosthetic is a prosthetic, and your body has to be comfortable with it and you have to mentally make it part of yourself,” she said.

(…)

Weta costumer Lee Williams, who worked on the suit between film projects with seven other staff, told Close Up she “wanted [Nadya] to be beautiful and sexy”.

After seeing Ms Vessey test the tail in Kilbirnie pool then frolic in the harbour, Ms Williams was stoked. “It was absolutely amazing. It’s beautiful to watch Nadya swim and to see that dream come true and to be a part of that. I feel quite blessed.”

The suit was made mostly of wetsuit fabric and plastic moulds, and was covered in a digitally printed sock. Mermaid-like scales were painted by hand.

Mr Taylor said not only did the tail have to be functional, it was important it looked realistic. “What became apparent was that she actually physically wanted to look like a mermaid.”

This was easily the coolest, most amazing thing I’ve read all week.  Even cooler than the PC that fits inside its own power adapter!

(h/t Phoenix Woman)

February 25th, 2009 at 07:02pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Coolness,Technology

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

Nike signs their biggest spokesman yet:

Spokespeople for Nike Corporation announced yesterday the signing of God as the centerpiece of the ‘Thou Shalt Just Do It’ campaign.He was given a three-year, $22 million-dollar advertising contract with the corporation.

“We’re very excited about signing the Lord,” said Samantha Brecker, a public relations official for the world’s largest running shoe manufacturer.  “In addition to the fact that His word is worshipped and adhered to religiously by a large percentage of our customers, the Creator’s lifestyle is a perfect reflection of Nike’s values of absolute power and omnipotence.”

Though God has resisted previous advances by organizations seeking his endorsement – Starbucks, McDonald’s, and the Catholic Church are just a few examples – the Almighty said that Nike’s proposal stood out.

“Nike hath spoken to the needs of my children,” sayeth the Lord.  “Had the Children of Israel been blessed with the kingly arch support and heavenly appearance of these shoes, verily the ten plagues would have surely been unnecessary.  I am the Lord.”

Despite this explanation, and given that He has been absent from the affairs of Man for millennia, observers in both corporate and religious circles are perplexed by God’s decision to choose Nike as a forum for his return.

“We offered Him $18 million for two years, and that’s in 1992 dollars,” says Monsanto advertising executive Steve Prior.  “And frankly, you’d think that the Lord would be more interested in the genetic manipulation of Life itself than in a pair of sneakers.  We were very disappointed when the ‘Playing God’ campaign fell through.”

Although jealousy is plainly rampant in the advertising community, religious institutions all over the world are equally shocked by the nature of His return.

“Although we’re obviously pleased that the day of revelation has finally arrived and that the salvation and judgment of Man is now assured for all eternity, we’re also a little disappointed with the details,” said the Pope in a press release from the Vatican.  “No Jesus, no four horsemen, nothing.  Just a flashy commercial for the Super Bowl.  We’re a little miffed, frankly.”

Advance copies of the much talked-about Super Bowl commercial, intended for broadcast in 2010, have been distributed to certain key figures in the religious community to gauge reaction and court support.  Said Nike advertising executive Jill Logan: “We’re not sure what to expect.  We just want to make sure that we’re doing this the right way.”

The commercial opens with a dramatically lit mountain-scape, then closes in on the late Charlton Heston, reprising his role as Moses from the Hollywood blockbuster The Ten Commandments.  The sky is rumbling with thunder and bright with lightning.  Moses calls to the heavens: “Lord – The faithful do not walk with thee!  How will they cross the desert and the sea?”

The sky clears suddenly, and Moses is illuminated by a blinding white light.  A pair of Nike running shoes descends gracefully in the halo, as the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey begins to play in the background.  The voice of God is heard off-screen: “Moses,” He says as the shoes settle to the earth at his feet, “They may walk to me…with these.”

The music builds as Moses picks them up in his hands and slowly rises to his feet.  Moses and the shoes are framed against the blinding light, and he says: ‘Thank you, Lord.  Thank you.”  A black screen suddenly appears with the words: ‘Nike.  Amen.’

Despite a vague sense of discomfort and confusion in many of the faithful, most consumers, religious or not, seem to have embraced the call of the Lord.  In fact, Nike has not seen such an increase in sales since the famed ‘Air Jordan’ campaign of the early nineties.

“They’re great,” said Baltimore teenager Jeffrey Wenders.  “My feet feel fantastic.  They’re so light.  I feel like I can walk on water with these babies.”  Mr. Wenders added: “You think I’ll be able to dunk it with these on?”

I look forward to the commercials where God is paired with Spike Lee.

February 25th, 2009 at 11:20am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

New Horizons In All-In-One PCs

Plug PC

I’ve seen lots of PCs integrated into monitors, but this is a new one on me:

Marvell has the technology and the vision, and if the company gets its way the world will soon be overrun by lilliputian Linux machines. Hiding in wall warts and the like, these guys will begin quietly taking over tasks that we once relegated to servers and desktop machines. To this end, the company has just announced that they’ll be making the SheevaPlug dev kit available. This is the platform that PogoPlug is based on, consisting of a 1.2GHz Kirkwood processor, 512MB flash storage, 512MB DRAM, a Gigabit Ethernet port, and USB 2.0. This bad boy supports many standard Linux 2.6 kernel distributions, and the whole thing plugs directly into a standard wall socket, drawing “less than one tenth of the power of a typical PC” while in use. Currently available for $99, the company says that it anticipates a price drop to $49 “in the near future.”

That’s right, a PC that’s integrated into its own power adapter.  And it’s almost as powerful as my last PC was.  Amazing.

1 comment February 25th, 2009 at 07:10am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Coolness,Technology,Weirdness

Bobby Jindal: FAIL

Not only did he sound like Mr. Rogers pitching an informercial, not only did his entrance inspire Chris Matthews to whisper “Oh my God” into a live mic, not only was his “government sucks/we know we screwed up but we’ll regain your trust by continuing to do what we’ve always done” messaging completely tone-deaf, but it’s very likely that the anecdote he used as the centerpiece of his “government is the problem” thesis… was completely fabricated.

Nice career you had there, Mr. Jindal.  Have fun explaining to Louisiana voters over and over again why you said you’d take all the stimulus funds for your state except the ones earmarked for unemployment.

4 comments February 25th, 2009 at 12:07am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Politics,Republicans


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