Right-Wing Twit Of The Week

1 comment February 22nd, 2009at 12:36pm Posted by Eli

Shorter S.E. Cupp: OMG, Mike Pence!  Squee!!!

See, in my world, stars don’t come any bigger than Newt Gingrich, Karl Rove, Mitt Romney and Mike Pence (if there were a congressional version of Teen Beat, the Indiana congressman would be on its cover every month). Michael Steele, Mike Huckabee and John Boehner are the Jonas Brothers of conservative celebrity. And all of them will be at CPAC 2009.

Her world must be as empty as her head…

Am I the only one who gets excited at the thought of a two-hour discussion on “Protecting the Secret Ballot” or “Taking Action Through Citizen-Led Reform” in the Regency Ballroom? [Well, yes.]  When I see such clever lecture titles as “Will Congress Take Your Guns?” and “Are We All Socialists Now?” I start salivating. Will it? Are we? I can’t wait to find out.

Just announced — Mario Lopez is speaking! Okay, it’s Mario Lopez of the Hispanic Leadership Fund, and not the hunky headliner of “Saved By the Bell” and “Dancing With the Stars,” but still — he’s going to be great, I just know it.

And doesn’t everyone want to have “Breakfast With Phyllis Schlafly”? Just me?

If my excitement about CPAC makes me seem hopelessly out of touch, uncool or miles from MTV reality, I can live with that. In my defense, I’m also looking forward to drinking boxed wine with such friends and colleagues as Tucker Carlson, Stephen Baldwin and Andrew Breitbart during the forced socialization of conference happy hours. You’d be surprised how many big deals are done over pigs-in-a-blanket and cubed cheese. And yes, I just totally name-dropped.

She thinks that was name-dropping.  How utterly sad.

I looked for some kind of wink that she was tongue-in-cheekily poking fun at the lameness of CPAC 2009’s guest list, but I just couldn’t find it.  It seems she really does think that Steele, Huckabee, and Boehner are “the Jonas Brothers of conservative celebrity.”  If they are, then I could almost feel sorry for the Republicans if they weren’t such utter bastards.

Only at the very end does Cupp get around to a CPAC attraction I might be interested in seeing:

Last year a disheveled-looking man sat on a street corner near the hotel all four days, pan-handling. He held a cardboard sign that read, “Bush is Bi.” I’m not sure what he meant by that — I have a feeling he didn’t know, either — but I really hope he’ll be there again. Who needs star power when you have memories like that?

Good point.  Maybe Bush-Is-Bi Guy can be the Republican nominee in 2012.

Entry Filed under: Media,Politics,Republicans

1 Comment

  • 1. deadcrow  |  May 31st, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    It’s always so nice to read blogs written by Liberals who don’t automatically resort to calling conservatives idiots. It’s even better when they also leave behind the knee-jerk urge to Bush Bash. Too bad this is not one of those blogs. Your vitriol and hatred show a level of intolerance that is stunning in its hypocrisy. This is the era of Hopey Changey. Talk about Obamas spending our great-great grandchildren into poverty or the socialization of Government Motors. Bush is gone and S.E.Cupp is a Hottie who just happens to have written a book exposing the very stereotypes you continue to reflect here in such a bland, uninspired manner. Wake up. Bush is gone, and BHO is turning America in to a Socialist hell. That worked out so well for the USSR.

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