Archive for March 18th, 2009

Epic Messaging Fail

Congressional Republicans are working awfully hard to seize the opportunity of public outrage at the AIG bonuses by pretending to be populists sticking up for the little guy:

GOP Congressional leaders have roundly condemned AIG and its executives, as part of a strategy to position themselves as heroic defenders of the taxpayers and to paint the Obama administration as weak and ineffectual. Mitch McConnell recently blasted AIG’s bonuses as an “outrage.” John Boehner said that the “American people are rightly outraged.” And Eric Cantor bemoaned the “stunning lack of accountability” on AIG’s part.

Setting aside for the moment the fact that these hypocrites were totally for obscene executive compensation and deregulation before they were against it, their fearless leader apparently didn’t get the memo:

During the March 17 broadcast of his nationally syndicated radio show, Rush Limbaugh — “a great leader for conservatives” — defended American International Group (AIG) from criticism of the company’s controversial employee retention bonuses. Limbaugh declared, “A lynch mob is expanding: the peasants with their pitchforks surrounding the corporate headquarters of AIG, demanding heads. Death threats are pouring in. All of this being ginned up by the Obama administration.” Limbaugh later claimed, “This $500,000 limit on executive pay — let me tell you why it won’t work. New York City will die. New York City needs a whole bunch of people being paid a whole lot of money, so they can tax their butts off, so that the city can maintain its stupid streets, potholes, and welfare state. Without the super wealthy in New York, it’s over. … This — it’s just a populist ruse. It’s just designed to people go, ‘Yeah, yeah!’ “

That’s right, the head of the GOP just called the American people “peasants.”  That is so awesome.

If the Republicans weren’t such dishonest tools, I’d almost feel sorry for them.

1 comment March 18th, 2009 at 09:09pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Economy,Politics,Republicans,Wankers

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

The Weekly World News has uncovered a vast new alternative energy source, literally waiting to be tapped:

The thunder of Zeus be upon you, O mortals!  I, the great and terrible Poseidon, can supply you with boundless alternative energy. Cleaner than clean coal.  Less wasteful than nuclear waste.  And with more career peaks than oil and Sylvester Stallone put together.

I offer you the limitless, otherworldly power of an ancient celestial god.  I offer you myself.

Another comeback lies before me, mortals, but only if you come back to me.  Audiences may be fickle, but the glory of we Immortal Ones remains.  And like I keep telling my agent, we just need to give the people a reason.

You are beginning to sense that the manipulation of your planet’s resources through traditional scientific means will not bring you the favor or the riches you seek.  The truth you all choose to forget is that we great Olympian gods are the real guardians of fortune.  And fortune cannot be taken by force: siphoned out of the bowels of the earth or captured from the sun’s rays or milled out of the very wind itself.  It must be given to you—by me.  And I’m not giving it up without a little respect.

You would not ask Brad Pitt to perform in films without the adoring attention of his fans.  You would not expect Britney Spears to sing without recording the minutiae of her life for all to see.  And you should not expect this great deity to provide you with a renewable energy source without affirming your devotion.

So pursue the blind alleys of witchcraft and sorcery you call science, if you so choose.  Ignore, if you will, the great passions and intricate scheming of gods that determine your earthly fate.  Pretend that you are not subject to my ever-changing moods, that it is not my anger that clouds the skies, my fury that propels the winds, and my tears that rain down upon the earth when I look back upon the glory days of old.

Foolish mortals!  Your quest for cold fusion will be met only with the cold fury of the gods if the flame of my fame is allowed to go out.

Worship me, and you shall be energized!

I wonder how long it would take before we reached Peak Poseidon.

March 18th, 2009 at 05:46pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

Disarray Of Hope

Obama and the Democrats are not handling this well at all:

Congressional Democrats careened between the circular firing squad and the three-ring circus Tuesday as they struggled with their new reality: playing defense on the economy.

Sen. Robert Menendez (D-N.J.) blamed Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner for letting bailed-out insurance giant American International Group pay $165 million in bonuses to its employees, saying he wrote a letter to Geithner two weeks ago warning him of just such a possibility.

Sen. Chris Dodd (D-Conn.), tagged by Republican aides for sponsoring an amendment to the stimulus bill that allowed the bonuses, shifted the blame to the Treasury Department and “the bill conferees,” saying he had no idea that the AIG bonuses were coming.

Sen. Max Baucus (D-Mont.), joined by Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa), introduced a bill that would impose a 70 percent tax on “excessive” compensation paid to employees of all bailed-out companies. President Barack Obama has said the White House would use all legal means possible to get the bonuses back, but House Majority Leader Steny H. Hoyer (D-Md.) acknowledged that there were “some questions” as to whether Congress could do anything at all.

And while Hoyer begged AIG execs to give up the money voluntarily, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) just tried to change the subject. Asked about Geithner’s role in failing to stop the bonuses, Reid said: “Let’s talk about what we have accomplished this Congress.”

Nice try.

For the second day in a row, the AIG bonuses were just about the only subject of conversation at the Capitol. At press conferences throughout the day — and as members filed in and out of a St. Patrick’s Day lunch — outrage over bonuses was on everyone’s lips.

And that suited long-suffering Republicans just fine.

“This latest flap involving AIG, I think, is very troubling,” crowed House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (R-Va.). “What’s going on in this administration? It seems like an administration in disarray.”

Having mostly opposed Obama’s stimulus plan, the second half of the Troubled Asset Relief Program funds and the omnibus spending bill, Republicans feel they have a free shot at the Democrats for anything that goes wrong now.

On Tuesday, they took it again and again. “This administration could have, and should have — through the process of providing for [AIG] another $30 billion two weeks, just two weeks, ago — prevented this from happening,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. “They had a lot of leverage prior to that infusion of $30 billion.”

House Minority Leader John A. Boehner (R-Ohio) said that “the American people are rightly outraged that their tax money is going to pay bonuses to the very people that got this company in trouble.”

If you’re letting the Republicans out-populist you on corporate greed and corruption, you deserve to get your asses handed to you next year.  Let’s see if the GOP can walk the walk, though – or if their commitment to reining in corporate excesses extends beyong AIG.

March 18th, 2009 at 11:34am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Democrats,Economy,Obama,Politics,Republicans

Dubya’s Fraudian Freudian Slip

As Attackerman says:

Bush, in Canada, commits the best Freudian slip of all time by announcing his memoir:

“I’m going to put people in my place, so when the history of this administration is written at least there’s an authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened,” Bush said.

“Dictatin’ a book is a lot easier, especially if I’m the dictater.”

March 18th, 2009 at 07:43am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush

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