Archive for May 6th, 2009

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

specter

More on D-Arlen Specter’s campaign to prove what a disloyal Democrat he is:

Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter was thrust into the national stage last week when he switched from the Republican Party to the Democrats. However Specter insists he refuses to walk any party line, as evidenced by his trademark series of ironic anti-establishment t-shirts.

Democrats were ecstatic to receive one more seat in their ranks, putting them at a potential “filibuster-proof” 60 seats in the Senate, and are desperate to stay in Specter’s favor.  But Specter says he refuses to adhere blindly to party politics and remains his own man.  His first appearance as a Democrat last Friday clearly illustrated his disregard for the establishment.

Senator Specter showed up at work riding a motorcycle and wearing a leather bomber jacket.  Parking lot attendants confirm he was blasting Kenny Loggin’s Highway to the Danger Zone upon his arrival.

In the Senate, Specter repeatedly held up proceedings with his newfound attitude.  As the Senate hearing began, he was reprimanded for refusing to take off his aviator-style sunglasses.  Specter had to be asked several times to stop putting his feet up on the seat in front of his.  He even went so far as to filibuster his own legislation.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi pulled the newest member of the Democratic Party aside to an antechamber.  Anonymous sources saw her ask where this behavior was coming from.

“I’m a loner, Nancy, a rebel.”

“What are you rebelling against?”

“Whattaya got?”

He then dramatically took off his glasses for approximately the 38th time that morning.

Back on the floor he spurred on Olympia Snowe by answering her every question with “RepublicanLackeySaysWhat.”  When Senator John McCain voiced his disapproval of such actions, Specter offered to settle their differences with a drag race around “Dead Man’s Curve.”

Even majority leader Harry Reid lost his patience with Specter, saying on the Senate floor, “Your mouth is writing checks the state of Pennsylvania can’t cash!  Just who do you think you are?”

“I’m Senator Arlen Specter and I’m outta here.”

The Senator then popped his collar defiantly and left the Senate.

Senator Specter’s whereabouts between Friday’s departure and his Sunday appearance on Meet the Press are currently unknown.  Whether or not he is connected with several high speed chases in the area remains to be seen.

He truly is a rebel without a cause.  Or a principle.

May 6th, 2009 at 11:17am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Specter,Weekly World News

Wanker Of The Day

Rush could care less about the recession, ‘cuz he’s got his:

After more or less reprising his radio show routine, Limbaugh went on to brag about his $400 million contract with Clear Channel Communications. As he continued to gloat about his show’s success, Limbaugh mocked the idea that Americans are suffering, noting, “I’ve never had financially a down year” despite the “supposed” recession:

LIMBAUGH: But during all this growth I haven’t lost any audience. I’ve never had financially a down year. There’s supposedly a recession, but we’ve got – what is this May? Back in February we already had 102% of 2008 overbooked for 2009. [applause] So I always believed that if we’re going to have a recession, just don’t participate. [laughter]

Apparently it doesn’t count as a recession unless Mr. Empathy feels it.

1 comment May 6th, 2009 at 08:14am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Economy,Media,Republicans,Wankers

Mike Pence Is Not Anti-Science

…Except for, y’know, the whole Science part:

In a contentious debate with MSNBC’s Chris Matthews today, the third-ranking House Republican claimed that the science behind climate change is “mixed.” Pence did, however, admit that it is “fair” to question whether that makes him a discredited messenger on energy issues:

PENCE: Well let me tell you. I think the science is very mixed on the subject of global warming, Chris.

(…)

“In the mainstream media, there is a denial of the growing skepticism in the scientific community on global warming,” Pence bellowed. Watch it:

It’s unclear what “growing skepticism” on man-made climate change Pence is seeing. But his anti-science tirade was just beginning. Pence then defended his party’s opposition to embryonic stem cell research, falsely claiming there were alternatives that “obviated” the need for embryonic research. And when Matthews pressed Pence on whether he believes in evolution — an undeniable fact and the foundation of biology — Pence said he believes in creationism:

PENCE: Uh, do I believe in evolution? I embrace the view that God created the Heavens and the Earth, the Seas and all that’s in them. The means that he used to do that, I can’t say, but I do believe in that fundamental truth.

“Did you take biology in school?” asked an incredulous Matthews. “If your party wants to be credible on science, you gotta accept science. … I don’t think your party is passionately committed to science, or fighting global warming, or dealing with the scientific facts we live with.”

“Tell me what you really think, Chris,” Pence retorted. “This anti-science thing is a little bit weak.”

Yeah, smooth move saying that “the anti-science thing” is weak… immediately after denying a whole bunch of it.  I’m sure Americans are just dying to put the anti-reality party back in power.

May 6th, 2009 at 07:13am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Republicans,Science,Wankers


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