Archive for June 3rd, 2009

Wanker Of The Day

Turns out Dubya spent billions of taxpayer dollars to make sure that Obama was the one left holding the General Motors bag.  Nice.

On the other hand, the thought of the Bush administration being the one to shepherd GM through bankruptcy is pretty damn terrifying.

June 3rd, 2009 at 08:53pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Cheney,Economy,Republicans,Wankers

Runner-Up Wanker Of The Day

Shorter Ben Nelson: I’ll support a public healthcare option, but only if it sucks.

Because the primary objective of healthcare reform is to not improve it, apparently.

June 3rd, 2009 at 06:53pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Democrats,Healthcare,Politics,Wankers

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

Weekly World News documents another injustice, although I can’t help but wonder if this might really be more of an immigration issue:

Haitian immigrant Jacques Orneuve filed a discrimination suit against the U.S. government, claiming he was unjustly denied Social Security benefits, simply because he is a zombie!

The man says officials told him that he is dead and is therefore not eligible for government benefits. BUt Orneuve, who arrived in the U.S. from Port au Prince 15 years ago, says he has a right to collect just like anybody else.

“I’m not dead – I’m the living dead,” says Orneuve. “There’s a distinct difference. They treat me like I don’t exist.

“But the Social Security guys say their hands are tied. They sent for my records from Haiti and they show I died in 1993. On the basis of that they say they don’t owe me a dime.

“I think this is outrageous considering that I came to this country in good faith and worked hard as a laborer for more than 13 years and they took out Social Security all that time. But they say they’ve never had a zombie try to collect before and they don’t know what to do.”

According to local accounts, Orneuve lived in Haiti’s capital all his life. Records there show that he died in 1993 at the age of 51, but friends and relatives swear he was brought back as a zombie in a voodoo ceremony several days after he passed away.

Orneuve and his son were among a group of Haitians who sailed to Florida in 1994, leaving their country behind because of political tensions. The two used false papers to get work, found an apartment and became U.S. residents.

Last year after Orneuve was injured and could no longer do his job, he filed for Social Security benefits. A few weeks later he got a call from a government clerk informing him he was ineligible for assistance because he was dead.

“I understand that Americans have a fear of zombies, but that shouldn’t keep them from obeying the law,” Orneuve said. “They’re discriminating against me because of my religion and my physical condition. It’s got to stop.”

Give the poor guy a break already.  It’s not like he’s the flesh-eating Night Of The Living Dead type of zombie – we probably don’t want to give those too many benefits.

June 3rd, 2009 at 11:24am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

Comment-Inspired Musings

Just a couple of thoughts inspired by the comments to my Dick Cheney, Gay Marriage Crusader post:

1) How long before Republicans’ two favorite hot-button topics converge, and they start wailing about immigrants using phony gay marriage to get green cards?

2) How will Rush Limbaugh and other hardcore bigoted conservatives deal with Cheney reiterating that gay marriage isn’t so bad after all?  It’ll be pretty hard for them to argue that Dick Cheney, of all people, isn’t a real conservative.  My guess is that they’ll just ignore it…

2 comments June 3rd, 2009 at 07:01am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Cheney,Immigration,Media,Politics,Republicans,Teh Gay


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