Archive for June 17th, 2009

Eli’s Obsession With The Google

Multi Medium is the #1 search result for proof you have no life.

This surprises… no-one.

4 comments June 17th, 2009 at 08:31pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The Google

A New Low For The GOP

I wouldn’t have thought this was even possible:

Not good.

Only 34% are confident that GOP leaders Congress will make the right decisions about health care reform — less than the insurance companies (35%) or the pharmaceutical companies (40%).

It doesn’t get much worse than that.  Essentially, the message here is that if you let the pharma and insurance companies design healthcare reform to be just exactly the way they want it… they would still do a better job than the Republicans.

The Democrats don’t really have much room to gloat, though – they’re barely ahead of pharma.  Which is probably just about right, actually.

June 17th, 2009 at 07:09pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Healthcare,Politics,Polls,Republicans

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

The Roman Catholic Church is looking to expand their horizons:

Two dozen Roman Catholic priests have completed a top-secret program preparing them to serve as missionaries – to outer space!

And the Vatican has ordered the clerics on standby alert – ready to fly off to the stars the minute we make official contact with life on another planet.

“This is a truly staggering development, because for the first time the Church is recognizing that human beings are not the only intelligent creatures in the universe,” theology professor Dr. Rudolph Koller told reporters in Salzburg, Austria.

“And it signals that the Vatican is prepared to spend millions, even billions, of dollars to convert extraterrestrials to a religion that is almost certainly foreign to their own.”

Weekly World News first reported that the Church was training a bold new breed of missionary to travel to Mars and beyond back in January 2004, after word leaked that a secret UFO section had been established at the Vatican University’s Alfonsian Academy.

The program was designed to assure that the Catholic Church leads the way “when the time comes to Christianize alien societies,” a Vatican source said.

During the five years since then, 23 handpicked priests from around the world – including four Americans – have undergone intensive training in “approaches and techniques” to be used in spreading the gospel in space.

“These men are now fully trained to take on the most challenging mission in the history of organized religion,” the source said.

“Pope Benedict XVI has ordered them to be ready to go at a moment’s notice.”

Father Pierre Sorel, a Vatican theologian, insists it’s vitally important that the Church prepare itself to begin missionary work among the stars.

“The existence of alien races in outer space is hardly certain,” he said. “Still, we cannot afford  to ignore space exploration or the possibility of meeting other living creatures.”

But Franco D’Alema, newly elected president of the Rome-based Citizens for Non-Intervention in Alien Affairs, urged the Vatican to abandon its “foolhardy” plan to convert aliens to Catholicism.

“We are about to embark on the most mind-boggling period of discovery mankind has ever seen, a time when we will be introduced to beings unlike anything we can presently imagine,” D’Alema said.

“Let’s not mess it up by preaching and thumping our Bibles. That will only make other residents of the universe grow to despise us.”

But they haven’t even finished converting everyone on Earth yet!

June 17th, 2009 at 11:33am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

Healthcare Wankery

Wow, what a surprise that “moderate” Republicans would be willing to cross the aisle and work with Blue Dogs to kill the public option – how generous and bipartisan of them!

Meanwhile, at roughly the same time, the health insurance companies themselves make a very compelling case in favor of the public option, by refusing to end their policy of revoking coverage for the flimsiest of excuses.

I think this will end badly – the anti-public-option forces seem a whole lot more committed and determined than the Obama administration and large chunks of the Democratic party.  And without a public option, healthcare “reform” will be nothing more than a windfall for the insurance industry as everyone is forced to buy health insurance from them, and the resentment against Obama and the Democrats for passing such a shitty plan will be very deep and very damaging.

It amazes me that they seem unable (or unwilling) to see this.  The electoral goodwill generated by genuine healthcare reform would be huge, just like the ill will generated by lousy healthcare reform, yet the Democrats don’t seem to realize it.  This is yet another instance where doing the right thing is also the politically shrewd thing, but apparently our fearless leaders believe that generous campaign donations fro the healthcare industry will balance out public outrage.  Good luck with that.

3 comments June 17th, 2009 at 07:33am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Democrats,Healthcare,Politics,Republicans,Wankers

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