Archive for August 12th, 2009

Oh My God, They Killed Irony! You Bastards!

Between teabaggers lamenting the infringement of their 1st Amendment rights and conservatives in general talking up Obama’s fascist police state, it seems like irony gets killed every single day.  Today’s executioner is Paul Broun:

The Athens Banner-Herald reports today that Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA) told constituents yesterday that he thinks Democratic leaders are planning to declare martial law:

He also spoke of a “socialistic elite” – Obama, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid – who might use a pandemic disease or natural disaster as an excuse to declare martial law.

“They’re trying to develop an environment where they can take over,” he said. “We’ve seen that historically.”

The right’s newfound concern for the Constitution and civil liberties is admirable, but several years too late.

August 12th, 2009 at 09:54pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Constitution,Politics,Republicans,Wankers

Wednesday Why-I-Love–Weekly-World-News Blogging

The Weekly World News offers some helpful hints on how to avoid The Plague:

  • DO NOT TOUCH OR FEED WILD RODENTS!  Resist the urge.  Please abstain from feeding or petting wild rodents, no matter how cute they may be.
  • Be wary of small animals: cats, prairie dogs, dingos,  and penguins can all be infested with fleas that carry the disease.  Avoid contact with these animals if at all possible!
  • Avoid babies.  Due to their less developed immune systems babies are more likely to be carriers of the plague.  Avoid babies at all costs.
  • Treat pets for fleas: fleas are a positive danger now! Be sure to keep your pets indoors and treat them regularly with flea shampoos and powders!  Remember; a shaved cat is a happy cat.
  • Learn Sign Language.  Most diseases are transmitted by the mouth; through coughing, kissing, or talking.  Help keep your mouth closed by learning American Sign Language.
  • Sanitize guests: make sure anyone who enters your home is free of disease and parasites.  All guests should be dipped in rubbing alcohol or witch hazel to kill any bacteria on their skin.  Then lightly douse them with powdered sugar to ward off any fleas.  Wrap them in clear plastic and wait for two days to see if any lesions arise.  After this the guest may safely enter your home.
  • Interrogate children.  Children will often unintentionally expose the rest of your family to life threatening illness.  Every time they enter the house interrogate them on where they have been to find out if they may be exposing you to the plague.  Waterboarding is an effective and safe way to coerce someone to talk, and it helps keep kids clean.
  • Irradiate all foods.  The safest food is irradiated food.  Organic products are more susceptible to bringing germs into your home, and they go bad quicker.  Irradiation kills all germs in food and helps them to stay fresh longer.  If possible find a way to irradiate food at home.
  • Colonize a small tropical island.  Gather your family, or those uninfected, and take over a small tropical island.  The remote location of an island limits possible exposure to infection.  Drive out whatever people may be living there and hold up until the epidemic has passed.

These all sound very reasonable and easy to follow.

August 12th, 2009 at 07:24pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News

Random La Jolla Photoblogging

Absolutely no unifying theme whatsoever.
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From the talent show/open mic night at my grandma’s retirement community. My rendition of Tom Lehrer’s Irish Ballad was surprisingly successful.

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The bushes outside the hotel’s dining hall.

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A one-way sign outside Harry’s, a very nice diner with great (and generous) banana milkshakes.

August 12th, 2009 at 11:19am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: La Jolla/San Diego,Photoblogging

…Yay?

On the one hand, it’s good to hear that some advertisers are disgusted enough by Glenn Beck’s behavior to pull their ads.

On the other hand, it’s not so encouraging that they’re still advertising on Fox News, just redistributing their ad buys to the not-Glenn-Beck programming.

I’m kind of expecting Fox to turn this into a positive, and start promoting how Glenn Beck now airs “with limited commercial interruption”…

August 12th, 2009 at 07:08am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Media,Politics,Republicans,Wankers


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