What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

October 7th, 2009at 07:24pm Posted by Eli

No, really, this sounds like a brilliant idea…

The guys at Conservapedia (aka, “the trustworthy encyclopedia”) have launched a project to retranslate the Bible, because, they say, “liberal bias has become the single biggest distortion in modern Bible translations.” They want to “replace liberal words like ‘labor'” with terms conservatives like better, and “explain the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning.” This takes crazy to a whole new level.

Maybe they’ll explain how when Jesus said “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself”, what he really meant was “Thou shalt tell thy neighbor to go fuck himself and get a damn job.”  That is, assuming Jesus even makes the cut.  I’m expecting one of the conservative Bible “translators” to say something along these lines:

After we studied it for a while, we finally realized that we could achieve about 90% of our objectives by simply removing the New Testament.  We took an informal poll amongst ourselves, and found that none of us ever really liked that sissy Jesus crap anyway.  Except Revelations, which totally stays.  That shit is THE BOMB.

Entry Filed under: Religion,Republicans


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