America’s Newest Terrorist Threat

1 comment March 23rd, 2010at 11:37am Posted by Eli

Mimes!  Female mimes!  With… Death Balloons!  And Hate Whistles!  Assaulting people with their faces!  What self-respecting anti-immigrant activist wouldn’t feel threatened?

Yesterday, approximately 200,000 people gathered at the National Mall to show their support of comprehensive immigration reform. Roy Beck, director of the immigration restrictionist group, NumbersUSA, decided to add himself to the mix and report on the event via a live stream that was available on the group’s website. According to Anne Manetas of NumbersUSA, a group of female mimes threatened Beck and his bodyguards with “constant efforts at crushing physical intimidation” instigated by “blowing hateful whistles” and waving balloons.


However, that doesn’t explain why Beck’s bodyguard is the one who ended up being arrested and charged with assault yesterday. Lena Graber, one of the three mimes who pressed charges against Beck’s bodyguard, talked with Wonk Room this morning. Graber explains that she and four other mimes followed Beck and his crew around for four hours in an effort to prevent Beck from picking a fight with demonstrators. According to Graber, Beck’s bodyguard pulled out a pocket knife and started popping the mimes’ balloons. Graber cannot provide details on the assault charges filed by the other two mimes, but she did provide an account of what happened to her yesterday:

They were pretty aggressive and they would sort of elbow us out of the way and say “Don’t touch me” as they were doing so. One of the bodyguards had white makeup all over his elbow and he was all upset that the mimes had gotten makeup on him…but our makeup was on our faces and I wasn’t face-bunting anyone so I felt like that was more incriminating evidence than anything else.


Graber also stated one of Beck’s cameramen remarked, “well, I guess I’ve never been followed around by five women all day — even better they’re not talking.” Another witness who did not want to be named confirmed Graber’s account and described the mimes’ behavior as “completely whimsical in nature — never threatening.” Both Graber and the witness confirmed that the “hateful whistles” were actually just small plastic whistles in the shape of a soccer ball.

Stay classy, anti-immigrant assholes.  And stay safe – those mimes sound awfully scary.

Entry Filed under: Immigration,Republicans,Wankers

1 Comment

  • 1. Ol'Froth  |  March 25th, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    Reminds me of one of my favorite “Bloom County Picyaune” headlines after Opus slugged a mime with a salami…
    “Man Mugs Mime With Meat, Millions Make Merry!”

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