Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

June 9th, 2010at 11:33am Posted by Eli

There’s just no pleasing some people…

GROUPER, N.J. – “It’s despicable,” roared environmentalist and ichthyologist Robert Finn.  “Besides showing utter contempt for marine life, it’s probably illegal.”

Finn, a fishery ecologist with the Jersey Asbury Water Society, was referring to the mob practice of dumping one’s enemies in the water.

“They call it ‘sleeping with the fishes,'” snapped Dr. Finn.  “That’s an insult to our scaled friends and it clutters up the seabed.  Besides, it’s technically wrong as many species of fish don’t sleep at all.  But I digress…

“We’d prefer they call the practice ‘resting with the gophers,'” he explained.  “They should bury these guys in the dirt where they belong, and where the local fauna expects to find rotting carcasses.”

A threatened lawsuit against this so-called ‘Code of H2Omerta’ was met with sneers by a local mob attorney.

“I believe you will find that any potential dumping is environmentally sound,” said John Wiggy.  “All refuse is encased in cement blocks that exceed EPA standards.”

The frustrated fish expert is also saddened that sharks are treated with disrespect.

“Yes, they’re predators, but they consume dead flesh as well as live,” he said.  “It would be more accurate to call hucksters who lend money at exorbitant interest rates ‘loan lions.'”

I just wish, say, BP showed as much care and concern for the undersea environment and proper anti-contamination protocols as the mafia.

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News


Contact Eli





Feeds

Linkedelia!

Most Recent Posts

Archives

Categories

Calendar

June 2010
M T W T F S S
« May   Jul »
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  


Thinking Blogger

Pittsburgh Webloggers

Site Meter


View My Stats *