Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

2 comments August 4th, 2010at 11:31am Posted by Eli

Finally, a reason to watch The Bachelor:

The conclusion of The Bachelorette can only mean one thing – that it is time for the newest installment of The Bachelor. While Ali’s mission is over, ABC’s has started – again. This season did not produce the usual fan favorite to become the next Bachelor. With that in mind, ABC had to think outside the box to land their next stud.

Weekly World News has confirmed that ABC has selected none other than Bat Boy to become the next Bachelor. While one producer said that the answer was “obvious,” other insiders of the show said that the decision was a difficult one.

“We are swinging for the fences on this one,” said a producer, speaking anonymously. “Bat Boy is America’s favorite mutant, but what do we really know about him. He is someone of great intrigue and mystery, but there is no denying he has his faithful following.”

Opting to not select one of Ali’s heartbroken suitors, ABC decided to go in a new direction in hopes of breathing new life into the series.

“There is only so many times that we can select the same kind of guy to become ‘The Bachelor,’” said another producer. “We didn’t want to go with the usual rugged, all-american man or the wealthy man with a smile that’s fit for a movie. We wanted something unusual, something that would rock the boat.”

There is no doubt that ABC is swinging for the fences on this one. Bat Boy is certainly ecstatic on the decision and cannot wait to begin his quest for love.

“Bat Boy has always been an individual that has lived a life of mystery,” said Bat Boy’s rep. “What many people don’t know about him is that he has always wanted to find love, but has never been successful in that quest. He his hoping that this new venture will produce the woman of his dreams. We will have to work on his biting problem, however.”

I just hope the competition doesn’t get too ugly – what healthy, red-blooded American woman wouldn’t do anything to date Bat Boy?

Entry Filed under: Weekly World News


  • 1. Cujo359  |  August 4th, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    “We are swinging for the fences on this one,” said a producer, speaking anonymously.

    Are we sure these guys aren’t Democratic political consultants by day?

  • 2. Eli  |  August 4th, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    I dunno. I kinda *wish* the Democratic consultants had the guts to run Bat Boy…

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