Archive for May, 2011

The End Of Journalism

Welcome to rock bottom.

Yeah I know, they were just JOKING!

May 31st, 2011 at 07:01pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Media,Politics,Republicans,Wankers

Monday Media Blogging

Music video as old school 8-bit video game.  Pretty awesome.

(h/t Kotaku by way of Laughing Squid)

May 30th, 2011 at 12:16pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Monday Media Blogging

I Got Your “Overreach” Right Here

Hey, remember the Republican narrative about how the Democrats got pummeled last year because Mad Socialist Obama “overreached” with his government takeover agenda?  Funny thing: As soon as the GOP took power after that wave election, it immediately got to work showing everybody what real overreach looks like, attacking collective bargaining rights, and now Medicare.

The Democrats swept the Republicans out in 2006 and 2008 because the Republicans proved themselves to be incompetent and corrupt.  The Republicans swept the Democrats out in 2010 because the Democrats proved themselves to be incompetent and corrupt.  Now the Republicans are proving themselves to be downright malevolent, and could very well swing the backlash pendulum back to the Democrats, and in a presidential election cycle too.

If the presidential election had been held in 2010, Obama might have been in serious trouble if the Republicans nominated someone even semi-sane.  But if the Republicans continue to push a nakedly pro-wealth, anti-everything-else agenda, Obama’s going to win in another landslide, whether he deserves to or not (it’s “not”, by the way).

Also, the fawning Cheney endorsement probably isn’t doing Paul Ryan any favors.  If I’m his opponent, I’m running that quote on a continuous loop from now until election day.

May 27th, 2011 at 07:55am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Cheney,Democrats,Economy,Elections,Healthcare,Politics,Republicans

The Rand Dilemma

How can so many good Christian Republicans brag about being admirers of a religion-hating atheist?

Also, where did she stand on Aqua Buddha?

1 comment May 25th, 2011 at 11:21am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Politics,Religion,Republicans

It’s Good To Be The Congressman

Yet another way in which our political system is TOTALLY NOT CORRUPT AT ALL.

Maybe we should require politicians to swear an oath to give up all worldly goods when they take office or something.  It sure would be nice for us non-millionaires to get some representation for a change.

May 25th, 2011 at 07:08am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Politics,Wankers

Monday Media Blogging

Yo-Yo Ma and Lil Buck team up for a rather impressive breakdance interpretation of The Dying Swan:


May 23rd, 2011 at 11:19am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Monday Media Blogging

Graphic Of The Day

What’s really contributing to the national debt:

Funny how all the proposed solutions for the Terrible Scary Debt Crisis have so little to do with the things that are actually causing it.  Well, all the proposed solutions that anyone’s willing to talk about, anyway.

May 23rd, 2011 at 07:18am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Economy,Politics,Social Security,Taxes

And Now, Your Moment Of Zen…

From a story about Justice Clarence Thomas accusing Supreme Court critics of being lazy and illiterate for supposedly not reading the rulings they write about:

Critics of the court’s decisions, he said, often appear not to have read the rulings they’re discussing — and though he generally does not read court commentary, he knows that most lawyers and members of the public do.

Too perfect.

May 19th, 2011 at 11:31am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Judiciary,Republicans,Wankers

Great Moments In Political Analysis

Conservative pundit Andrea Tantaros helpfully explains that Republican voters should nominate the best candidate, makes no attempt to identify who that might be.

Insightful columnist is insightful!

May 19th, 2011 at 07:09am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Elections,Media,Politics,Republicans

Things Fall Apart

Infrastructure is one of those things that no politician seems to want to talk about.  It’s not like it’s a political third-rail like Social Security (“Keep your government hands off my infrastructure!”), but with all the deficit hysteria raging around Washington these days, no one dares say that we need $2 trillion dollars to keep the country from physically falling apart. So it will.

Frugality’s all well and good until your house collapses.

May 18th, 2011 at 11:46am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Democrats,Economy,Obama,Politics,Republicans,Unemployment,Wankers

Cornel West Vs. Barack Obama

Obama’s not just a faithless, deceptive, callous bastard on the political level, but on the personal level too.

If Cornel West is telling it true, and I have no reason to believe he isn’t, then Obama is almost as lousy a human being as his revolting predecessor.

May 18th, 2011 at 07:45am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Obama,Politics,Wankers

In Case My Dad Is Reading…

Show me the people in charge of Cambodia’s ancient temples and I’ll show you Angkor management.

1 comment May 17th, 2011 at 09:14pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Puns

Monday Media Blogging

I admit I have a soft spot for anchors-cracking-up videos, but this one particularly appeals to me for some reason.

May 16th, 2011 at 08:09am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Monday Media Blogging

Friday Quote & Slow Loris Blogging

This week’s quote is from the low-budget classic, Blood Dolls:

Well, enough of this. Etiquette requires some polite conversation before getting down to business. Said obligation has, I think, been discharged.

And, of course, there’ll be other people’s slow lorises with wee umbrellas…


May 13th, 2011 at 11:23am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Friday Quote & Cat Blogging

The Corpse Of Democracy

If anyone out there still has any doubts that democracy is dead in this country, just read these two stories:

Exhibit A:

Meredith Attwell Baker, one of the two Republican Commissioners at the Federal Communications Commission, plans to step down—and right into a top lobbying job at Comcast-NBC.

The news, reported this afternoon by the Wall Street Journal, The Hill, and Politico, comes after the hugely controversial merger of Comcast and NBC earlier this year. At the time, Baker objected to FCC attempts to impose conditions on the deal and argued that the “complex and significant transaction” could “bring exciting benefits to consumers that outweigh potential harms.”

Four months after approving the massive transaction, Attwell Baker will take a top DC lobbying job for the new Comcast-NBC entity, according to reports.

Exhibit B:

A few weeks ago, the National Institute for Money in State Politics published a report showing a marked spike last fall in campaign contributions to Iowa Attorney General Tom Miller by lawyers and law firms that represent big banks after Miller announced he was opening an investigation into the nationwide mishandling of foreclosures by Bank of America, Chase and others.


Now, in response to queries from TIME, Miller says he initiated fundraising calls to several national firms that represent big banks after he had announced his intention to investigate the foreclosure mess. “In September and October, I tried to reach out to people that I’d worked with and I thought had respect for me and potential support for me and tried to raise money from them,” Miller says. “And a number of them were from national firms.”

Kinda hard to sustain the illusion that the public good is even on these people’s radar.  And Republicans call unions greedy (and old people, and poor people, and unemployed people, and sick people, and…).

May 13th, 2011 at 08:01am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Economy,Politics,Wankers

Analogy Of The Day

Insider trading is to the financial meltdown as Iraq is to 9/11.

May 12th, 2011 at 11:18am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Economy,Obama,Politics

Wednesday Why-I-Love-The-Weekly-World-News Blogging

The Callista Gingrich phenomenon, explained at last:

Today Newt Gingrich announced that his wife, Callista, is in his words a “Stepford Wife.”   Newt told reporters today.  “Soon after I married Callista, I had her brain replaced with a robotic brain.  She does anything I tell her to, which frankly, the way all wives should behave to their husbands.”

Callista has been the most public and the least known of the political partners bracing for the scrutiny of a presidential campaign. In eleven years of marriage, Callista Gingrich has never been the subject of a profile. Gingrich’s aides declined to make her available to any newspapers for an interview, to talk about her or the marriage on the record or on background, or even to suggest friends who might offer a glimpse of the would-be First Lady.

The reason:  Callista is a robot.

Friends say she’s ready for the rigors of Iowa, where she went to college, and a comfortable public performer, if one who has spent much of her time on stage behind a gleaming french horn in the Fairfax City Band.

“The robotic brain I had put in her head, can handle any situation,” said Newt.

“She is much more in the model of a Laura Bush than a Hillary Clinton,” said David Bossie, the president of the conservative group Citizens United and a longtime Gingrich ally. “She just is a strong partner like Laura Bush, was but not out in front like Hillary Clinton was.”

Callista Gingrich is Newt’s third wife.  He was tired of having his wives “talk back” to him and deny him sex.  “Callista will have sex with me whenever I ask her too and she never talks back.  If she starts to talk back, I just say the word “Speaker” and she shuts up. I love her so much.”

When asked where Newt had his wife’s brain replaced with a robotic brain, he said – “That’s something that will come out in the campaign.  I will reveal that on every campaign stop ONLY to the men who promise to vote for me in 2012.”

Newt hopes to win in a landslide.

I am intrigued by the hint that Laura Bush may also be a robot.

May 11th, 2011 at 11:33am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Elections,Republicans,Weekly World News

Credit Where Credit Is Due

Sure, Andy Cuomo may be governing like a Republican, and his policy of shafting public workers to preserve tax cuts may be more popular with Republican voters than Democratic ones, but at least he’s got one issue right:

Cuomo demanded the Legislature pass the major pillars of his agenda: legalization of same-sex marriage, ethics reform and a property tax cap.

“June 20 is the day that the Legislature ends, and June 20 is D-Day for us,” Cuomo said. “Tell your legislators it’s very simple: Pass the bills or don’t come home. Period.”

While his support for marriage equality is heartening (property tax cap, not so much), I feel obliged to point out that Democrats have a lot more latitude to be progressive on social issues, because most corporate donors don’t really care about marriage equality or choice one way or the other.  So… yay, but I wouldn’t exactly call it a profile in courage.

May 11th, 2011 at 07:59am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Democrats,Politics,Teh Gay

Nailed By The Onion

This is just too perfect:

Sources in the Congressional Budget Office reported that as a result of a clerical error, $80 billion earmarked for national defense was accidentally sent to the Department of Education, furnishing schools with the necessary funds to buy new textbooks, offer more academic resources, hire better teachers, promote student achievement, and foster educational excellence—an oversight that apologetic officials called a “huge mistake.”


“Once these kids learn to read and think critically, you can never undo that,” Boehner said. “In 20 years, we could be looking at a nightmare scenario in which vast segments of our populace are fully prepared to compete in the new global marketplace.”

“It could take a whole generation to cancel out the effects of this,” Boehner added.


“And politicians will be adversely affected as well,” Boehner said. “What will our nation do if the next generation knows that all we care about is our own selfish interests and pandering to the wealthy elite? Is that the future you want? Not me.”

Of course, it’s easy to immediately recognize this as parody, since this sort of error would never ever happen.

May 10th, 2011 at 08:06am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Economy,Education,Politics,Republicans,Wankers

Monday Media Blogging

He’s a complicated monster, and no one understands him but his cookies…

Me just talkin’ about Cookie!

May 9th, 2011 at 11:39am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Monday Media Blogging

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Who needs serious regulation of nuclear power plants? After all, it’s not like anything really bad could happen if we let energy companies set their own safety standards, right?

Amazing that after Macondo and Fukushima and Big Branch, not to mention multiple food and drug crises and a financial meltdown, Republicans can still get away with pretending that regulations are nothing more than profit- job-killing red tape that serves no useful function other than to punish corporations just for being corporations.

May 9th, 2011 at 08:02am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Energy,Environment,Wankers

Great Moments In Irony

More bitter than amusing, I’m afraid:

Masudur Rahman, a professor of Arabic at the University of Memphis, and Mohamed Zaghloul, Imam at the Islamic Association of Greater Memphis, were asked to deplane Atlantic Southeast Airlines flight 5452 from Memphis to Charlotte. They were subjected to additional security checks after the plane had pushed back from the gate, Rahman told Reuters by telephone.

After additional screening, the two men were cleared by Delta representatives to re-board the plane, but were then told the pilot would not take them, Rahman said.


The two men were headed to a North American Imams conference where they were scheduled to lead prayers. This year’s conference is discussing Islamophobia or fears of Islam and discrimination against American Muslims.

Sigh.  At least we know the conference is still relevant.

1 comment May 7th, 2011 at 05:35pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Racism,Terrorism,Wankers

New Horizons In Legal Defense

Shorter Scott Bloch: A gay Democratic conspiracy set me up with completely bogus criminal charges… which I pled guilty to.

Good luck with that.

May 7th, 2011 at 02:35pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Republicans,Teh Gay,Wankers

Friday Quote & Monkey Blogging

This week’s quote is from The Attic Expeditions, featuring Seth Green, Jeffrey Combs, Wendy Robie, and Alice Cooper:

Trevor, you got to get me out of here, I don’t know what’s happening to me. I can’t tell you who I am because I can’t remember a damn thing. My mind is all fucked up in this damn puppet head, but I swear to you as God is my witness, I am not this guy’s hand!

And, of course, there’ll be other people’s wee monkeys…


May 6th, 2011 at 11:25am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Friday Quote & Cat Blogging

A Lawsuit The Right Can Get Behind

This sounds right up the conservative alley:

Advocates of stringent curbs on greenhouse gas emissions sued the federal government on Wednesday, arguing that key agencies had failed in their duty to protect the earth’s atmosphere as a public trust to be guarded for future generations.

Most of the individual plaintiffs in the suit, filed in United States District Court in San Francisco, are teenagers, a decision apparently made to underscore the intergenerational nature of the public trust that the earth’s atmosphere represents….


But in some ways the suit parallels a current case, brought by several states against the five largest utilities in the country, that frames greenhouse gas emissions as a public nuisance, legal experts noted.

After all, they’re always looking out for the interests of the unborn, protecting them from abortions, and from inheriting a crushing debt burden.  Although, to be fair, they didn’t care about that last one until about five seconds after a Democrat became President.

Also, state’s rights!

May 6th, 2011 at 08:01am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Choice,Economy,Environment,Republicans

Analogy For The Day

Pakistan is an allly of the United States in much the same way that Obama is an ally of the progressive movement.

May 4th, 2011 at 12:24pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Democrats,Obama,Politics,Wankers


As I predicted, Republicans are hailing the death of Osama bin Laden as a great victory forGeorge W. Bush.  Only.  Also.

Because, after all, without Dubya’s decision to use military force against terrorism, we never would have killed bin Laden… with a small strike force in a heavily-fortified compound in a military town in a country we didn’t invade.

And without Dubya’s decision to use torture against detainees, we never would have found him… after torture didn’t work.

So if the right wants to give Dubya credit for killing bin Laden three years after he left office, does this mean that they’re finally ready to give him credit for the deficit and economic slump too?

May 3rd, 2011 at 08:03am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Afghanistan,Bush,Economy,Iraq,Obama,Palin,Politics,Republicans,Terrorism,Torture,Unemployment,Wankers,War

Monday Media Blogging

Disco Grover!

‘Nuff said.

2 comments May 2nd, 2011 at 11:27am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Monday Media Blogging


Man, it must be driving conservatives crazy that their favorite scary monster has finally been slain… by a Democrat.  Now they have to explain that he was never really a big deal in the first place, and how killing him will only make terrorism worse, but that it also totally vindicates George W. Bush.

I’d throw in a show-me-the-death-certificate joke, but pretty much everyone else in the country had the exact same thought…

1 comment May 2nd, 2011 at 07:56am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Afghanistan,Obama,Politics,Republicans,Terrorism

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