The #4 search result for 666 mile long penis.
It points to one of my most insane posts ever, although the insanity is not actually mine.
4 comments November 20th, 2008 at 11:16am Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleProof that my taste in movies is impeccable, I am on the first page of search results for super awesome movies.
In this case, it’s a post about a movie called Zombie Strippers, which is as super awesome as it gets.
UPDATE: Multi Medium 1.0 is the #1 search result for stinky plants of the rainforest.
Add comment November 17th, 2008 at 12:22pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleApparently my blog is the #1 search result for why is my man a wanker. So if you happen to be wondering why your man is a wanker - it’s me, okay? I’m sorry already!
Oh, also the #2 search result for Scooby Doo does dallas. I don’t think I want to know what they were looking for, but my blog probably wasn’t it…
Add comment November 14th, 2008 at 10:55pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleWoohoo! I appear to be fully listed on the Google once again! Which is why I am the #3 search result for modo for an island of 6 girls.
Sure wish I knew what that was about…
Add comment November 13th, 2008 at 06:25pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleIt’s been a while - as I’ve said, I’ve been quasi-delisted from the Google, so I don’t get as many interesting search hits as I used to.
But it’s still good to know that Multi Medium 1.0 is on the first page of search results for i want a midget.
Add comment November 1st, 2008 at 02:28pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleBeen a while since I’ve done one of these. Since Teh Google all but delisted me, I get hardly any juicy search results leading to my blog. But this Yahoo search definitely deserves a mention.
Yes, Multi Medium is the #1 search result for define feckless democrats.
And just for sheer random, it is also the #2 search result for bill gates and roy orbison.
Add comment September 6th, 2008 at 04:16pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleTurns out that on certain search engines which have not quasi-delisted me for no good reason, my blog is the #3 search result for McCain’s Lying.
I am very touched and humbled to have beaten out so many others for this honor.
Add comment August 5th, 2008 at 07:42am Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The Google, McCainMy blog is on the first page of search results for free adult stories and cartons of women and nonhuman-like robots, just ahead of New Robots! Amazon Destruction! Mangabey! Diapers, Sarcasm, Jules Verne, 2005 Summer~Fall TV Shows! and the Wikipedia page for Skeletor.
I wonder how big those cartons of women and nonhuman-like robots are…
Add comment May 2nd, 2008 at 08:44pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleMy blog is on the first page of search results for Vietnam was bad.
Multi Medium: Serving all your obviousness needs since 2005!
Add comment April 23rd, 2008 at 05:25pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleMy blog is the #1 search result for cats ear nibbling ejaculation.
I don’t think I even want to know…
Add comment April 8th, 2008 at 09:40pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleMy blog is the #1 search result for child eaten by giant salamander.
Not that I advocate feeding children to giant salamanders, mind you - it’s probably bad for the salamander.
Add comment April 4th, 2008 at 01:02pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleOn the first page of search results for psychotic stink.
I’ll be smiling about that all day tomorrow.
Add comment March 26th, 2008 at 09:53pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleMulti Medium is the #1 search result for rupert murdoch naked eating bugs.
I’m not so surprised by the search itself as by the fact that my blog would be the first to come up.
UPDATE: Also on the first page of search results for rogaine on vagina. Eep.
Add comment March 23rd, 2008 at 02:49pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleI think this is one of my new favorites. I’m the #1 search result for Dana Perino Turing test.
I wonder if she passed…
Add comment March 21st, 2008 at 09:05pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleI’m on the first page of search results for pediatric autoimmune long island pandas.
Wow. Talk about specific.
Add comment March 17th, 2008 at 07:38pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The Google#2 search result for kung fu weiner.
No, there is no video.
Add comment March 16th, 2008 at 02:33pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleGreat, I’m the #1 search result for why does brain hurts.
People, if you don’t like the color scheme, you can change it - it’s just below the search box.
(Um, if your brain already hurts you might want to stay away from the “Theme For Atrios” option…)
2 comments March 15th, 2008 at 04:52pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleI was on the first page of search results for Jesus and Giant Salamander, but it appears to have gone away.
Um, so is there a Book of Amphibians in the New Testament somewhere? Did Jesus fight the giant salamander? Convert it? Heal it? Resist its temptations? Perhaps the Bible is more interesting than I realized.
Also, why was the Jesus and Giant Salamander scene omitted from The Passion Of The Christ? It would have been box office GOLD!
5 comments March 14th, 2008 at 06:48pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleI typically don’t post Google searches unless my blog is on the first page (I have my pride!), but I was rather taken aback by the search itself and thought it was worth mentioning: according to the bible, are massages ok before marriage?
I reckon the Bible probably doesn’t take an explicit position on this, but that would seem like a pretty prohibitive restriction there. If you can (presumably) kiss and make out before marriage, I don’t see why a massage would be a problem, assuming it’s not, like, a Naked Sexy Massage. Not that I personally would object to that…
Add comment March 10th, 2008 at 09:18pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleI’m not sure why, but ever since Google de-listed and then reinstated me, I haven’t gotten nearly as many bizarre search hits. However, it is good to know that I’m the #1 search result for tentacle Murka.
And still the only search result for “Dr. Lobo, gastroenterologist”, which is pretty awesome. Removing the quote marks and searching again, it turns out that there really is a gastroenterologist named Dr. Lobo, which is also pretty awesome.
Add comment March 4th, 2008 at 06:42pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleMy old blog is the #1 search result for Help! My John Stamos is stuck in a tree!
This is actually less strange than you might think.
Add comment February 5th, 2008 at 10:16am Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleI got some more lewd spam today, I’m sure you’re all thrilled. From Sheree Dewitt and Miranda Mata, respectively, in Subject / Body format:
BillyBodypartWalloping / JeanineWideDick
DickWhoppingBenny / TremendousPhallusTricia
I have to say, I am just not finding this marketing strategy to be very enticing.
In other lurid news, my blog is the #3 Ask.com search result for electric vagina men!
Hopefully this post will vault me to #1, making me King of the Electric Vagina Men! Soon I shall build my mighty Electric Vagina Empire, and you will all bow down before me! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
3 comments January 14th, 2008 at 10:49pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The Google, SpamoptikonAlas, the Google has de-listed my blog as a result of its getting hijacked by a porn spammer a while back - hopefully this will only be temporary. In the meantime, feast your eyes on this truly inexplicable Yahoo search:
mike huckabee pardon keith richards detroit economic tax plicy
Man, I would love to know just what kind of story they were trying to find with that one…
Add comment January 14th, 2008 at 11:27am Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The Google(I had no idea this even existed. Thanks, Cujo!)
My blog is the #1 search result for guitar muppet media.
Woohoo!!! Surely there must be a way to monetize this…
4 comments December 29th, 2007 at 10:28pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleOh dear. #3 search result for laura bush not wearing underwear.
Someone must be very disappointed. Or relieved.
3 comments December 27th, 2007 at 08:46pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The Google#1 search result for quotes about petty bullshit.
I think that has to be the most perfect one ever. Hell, if my blog had a tagline…
1 comment December 19th, 2007 at 11:38pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleThis is very strange. My site was briefly hijacked by a porn spammer a few weeks ago (not the main pages; I didn’t notice the porn pages until I followed some peculiar incoming links), and now my traffic is going through the roof - well, for me, anyway. But it’s all Google searches for porn, much of it, well, kinda nasty.
So if you just happen to glance at my Sitemeter and think I’m popular all of a sudden… I’m not. But until the dodgy pages are flushed out of Google’s cache, it looks like my blog will be the #1 search result for old sluts in suspenders, which there is presumably a lot of demand for.
5 comments December 12th, 2007 at 06:13pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleI would be pretty heartbroken if I weren’t the #1 search result for the google vaginas.
I mean, that’s kinda my thing.
2 comments December 11th, 2007 at 11:09am Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The GoogleThis blog is the #1 search result for vagina unclaimed. Or unclaimed vagina. Whichever.
Multi Medium, your one-stop shopping outlet for unclaimed vaginas.
(I considered “Eli’s Home For Wayward Vaginas,” but that just sounded even worse…)
Add comment December 9th, 2007 at 02:35pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The Google#3 search result for sex worldchampion.
And don’t you forget it.
3 comments December 3rd, 2007 at 06:24pm Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under: Eli's Obsession With The Google
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