Posts filed under 'Gannon'

Gannonother Thing…

As the Bulldogyssey continues, I thought I should bring up two things to keep in mind before we get too totally carried away with gaydenfreude and glee:

1) If the blogosphere or (snicker) mainstream media cannot breach the walls of deniability, this will remain a tawdry but minor scandal, a tempest in a teabag. Unless and until someone finds a financial and/or sexual (please let it be “and”) link between James Garvin, Male Prostitute and someone big, the administration will successfully spin this as merely an embarrassing lapse of security, something along the lines of “Well, our buddy Eberle vouched for him so we thought he was okay,” and those who want to believe in BushCo’s pious Christian virtue will cheerfully continue to do so. We need something inescapable and unspinnable, like photos, videotapes, stains, or receipts, so please, for the love of all that is good and holy, keep digging.

2) Assuming that we do breach the walls of deniability, we must also remember that Bulldog is merely the narrow end of the bullhorn. The Democrats must do everything they can to use this to start spreading the message that for all their talk of family values, the Republicans are sleazy, immoral hypocrites. Monicagate was arguably the largest single contributor to the fall of the Democratic party, for even though the Republicans lost the impeachment battle, they won the electoral war by successfully using it to paint all Democrats as amoral, hedonistic sleazehounds.

And that image has stuck, even as we have run two of the most squeaky-clean, bolt-upright presidential candidates imaginable against a sneering, mean-spirited fratboy. It is not enough to be satisfied with smearing some Gannon dirt on Bush’s shining armor, we must use it to paint the entire Republican elite (yes, elite – let’s start using that word for what it really means) as something out of Eyes Wide Shut, a secretive, decadent cabal that preaches virtue and self-reliance, but practices vice and opportunistic, back-scratching greed. Hammer home that this is not an isolated incident, but rather part of a whole narrative of divorce, adultery, corporate malfeasance, class warfare, lies, dirty tricks, fraud, torture, and murder.

Also, when referring to this scandal, we need to keep the emphasis on “prostitute” rather than “gay”. Prostitution is sleazy and illegal, homosexuality is not. And those who do think gayness is evil will not need any reminders, nor do those who cynically use this opportunity to accuse us of homophobia need any help.

7 comments February 23rd, 2005 at 05:57pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Corruption/Cronyism,Democrats,Favorites,Gannon,Media,Politics,Republicans

We had it all wrong.

Ah, it’s all becoming clear to me now. “Bulldog” Gannon is not really a gay prostitute, just a very very shrewd domain name speculator, willing to go that extra mile (or 8 inches) to really pump up his properties’ market value.

He is the living embodiment of the American dream. Let us all take a moment to admire his spunk.

1 comment February 23rd, 2005 at 12:56am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Gannon

Strange Agenda

So, as Eschaton is besieged with right-wing trolls accusing us intolerant, homophobic liberals of being on a gay witch hunt, I and others were touched and surprised by this sudden outpouring of solicititude for the gay cause. NTodd even went so far as to suggest that this wave of right-wing pro-gay feeling might make this the perfect time to push for blanket legalization of gay marriage.

I think this is a fine idea. After all, if gays are worthy of preferential treatment with regard to White House/presidential access, then surely they are worthy of at least equal treatment with regard to the right to marry?

But then I wondered still further: What if these trolls are more attuned to the “gay agenda” than we are? What if the Number One priority of the American gay rights movement is, in fact, the right to ask softball questions of homophobic Republican presidents? Who are we to stand in the way of their hopes and dreams? With a prize like that in sight, surely marriage can wait?

Alas, it now appears that bright and shining dream has been dashed, destroyed by gay traitors like the dastardly John Aravosis of AMERICAblog. The trolls are waging a valiant battle to revive it, with their defibrillators of insincerity and their giant adrenaline needles of namestealing, but the time has come to place a gentle hand on their shoulder and pull them back from the tragic, bloody corpse. It was too much, too soon. America is simply not ready.

But hopefully, maybe, in some small way, this noble failure will pave the way for smaller advances in gay rights, such as the right to marry, the right to be accepted for who they are, and the right to not get the shit kicked out of them for no reason at all. I hope that someday our gay brethren will be able to forgive us for our callous and sordid role in this sorry affair, and we heterosexuals will once again be able to walk around with our heads held high.

31 comments February 19th, 2005 at 06:27pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Favorites,Gannon,Republicans,Wankers

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