Posts filed under 'Quotes'

Quote Of The Day

From John Yoo’s Dickipedia entry:

Having devoted his life to the common dick practice of redefining words to mean something different and more convenient, Yoo, during the course of one business day, redefined “acceptable behavior for a civilized nation” to “pretty much anything up to the reenactment of an Eli Roth movie.”

That. Is. Perfect.

(h/t watertiger)

April 27th, 2009 at 09:20pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Constitution,Prisoners,Quotes,Republicans,Torture,Wankers

They Write Letters

Some gems from the NYT letters page:

And don’t tell me it’s not torture because the military does it to train our forces. A willingness to impose harsh conditions on ourselves voluntarily cannot justify imposing those conditions on an another involuntarily.

Further, the reason the military uses the techniques on our soldiers is to prepare them for torture by an enemy. Would we say use of those techniques on our own forces by the enemy is not torture?


The debate about aggressive interrogation techniques like waterboarding now centers on their effectiveness.

It is frightening to think that we, a nation that has long believed that principle mattered and that human rights applied to all, would now be open to assuming that such values need not apply when we are frightened or at risk.

Has it all been a fiction? Are there no lines that we, as a nation, will not cross no matter the cost to us? If every value is negotiable depending upon circumstance, we have no true values.


You quote the letter [by McCain, Lieberman, and Lindsey Graham] as saying, “Moving in such a direction would have a deeply chilling effect on the ability of lawyers in any administration to provide their client — the U.S. government — with their best legal advice.”

That seems counterintuitive. Would not such prosecutions ensure that in the future lawyers did give their best advice, not legal fictions that served the whims and wishes of their client, the United States government?


1 comment April 24th, 2009 at 07:36pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Prisoners,Quotes,Republicans,Torture

Straight Line Of The Day

Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour’s take on the tea parties:

If we’re not the low tax party, then what are we?

So many answers, so little time.

April 16th, 2009 at 09:56pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Politics,Quotes,Republicans

Quote Of The Day

Shannyn Moore on Countdown, describing Sarah Palin:

Her political ambition combined with her intelligence is much like putting a jet engine on a golf cart.

So perfect.

April 14th, 2009 at 07:07am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Palin,Politics,Quotes,Republicans


This seems… inappropriate:

Joe the Plumber — real name Samuel Wurzelbacher — told a crowd of conservatives Thursday night that their love was getting him all hot and bothered.

“God, all this love and everything in the room — I’m horny,” declared Joe.

Wurzelbacher had taken the stage to a standing ovation at the annual “DisHonors” Awards, presented by the Media Research Center, to poke fun liberal media groups. But the “horny” declaration didn’t go over too well, according to the Washington Post.

Buzz immediately commenced.

“Did Joe the Plumber really just say he’s horny?” “Did you hear Joe say ‘horny’?” “Why is he horny and why is he telling us?”

Part of me wishes I had never read that, and part of me wants to Not-Joe to be the next entrant in the Face Of The GOP sweepstakes.

(h/t WT)

March 20th, 2009 at 11:10pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Quotes,Republicans,Weirdness

Wanker Of The Day, Bipartisan Edition

From the left, Obama adviser David Axelrod:

Yesterday, White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel told America he sees the use of taxpayer money to pay AIG million-dollar bonuses as an unimportant distraction…. Now today, White House adviser David Axelrod insists nobody cares about AIG ripping off taxpayers. “People are not sitting around their kitchen tables thinking about AIG,” he told the Washington Post.

Because that’s not tone-deaf at all.  No-one is even remotely offended by the notion that white-collar crooks are being paid millions of dollars of our money as a reward for their role in crashing the economy, except maybe a few peasants.

Which leads me once again to the leader of the GOP, once again showing us how he feels about the little people:

Further widening the rift on the issue between conservatives in the media, such as himself, and conservatives in Congress, Limbaugh went on to air Rep. Ed Royce’s (R-CA) rationale for voting yea on the House bill to tax AIG bonuses at 90 percent, and claimed that Obama voters will love a 90-percent tax rate “because Obama and the Democrat Party have been ginning up hatred and class envy for corporate executives and the achiever class in this country for years, for decades.”

Because everyone who isn’t a gazillionaire is a pathetic lazy slacker who’s never accomplished anything and has no value to society.  Epic Populism Fail.

March 19th, 2009 at 08:58pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Corruption/Cronyism,Democrats,Economy,Politics,Quotes,Republicans,Wankers

Michael Steele Continues To Be Hilarious

This guy is a comedic genius! He’s like the Andy Kaufman of the Republican Party or something.

Two weeks ago, amidst concern that Michael Steele’s media exposure was creating serious political damage, the RNC chairman decided to guest-host William Bennett’s national conservative radio program.


“I love this battle because what I see right now is leading to the ultimate political Armageddon between conservatism and liberalism,” Steele declared at one point. “And the idea that free enterprise, free markets, free people are going to battle an oppressive, repressive, domineering government. I love that. That’s what we are lining up for you folks. So you better get ready, strap it on, because it’s coming. And you better pick your sides, you better choose now.”


“I’m going to tell you something,” Steele replied. “You make such an important point, because I had a conversation earlier this week about the very point you just made about the Nixon administration. What you are seeing here, folks, unfold is nothing short of the Nixon administration played out in a different era and a different style. But the results and the effects are the same. You have H.R. Haldeman and Rahm Emanuel, these guys, the master manipulators, the master controllers in the background, moving and shaking the pieces, creating an enemies list, putting together the targets on our side. The whole strategy of demonizing Rush Limbaugh, which has been exposed now…”


“Education is key,” said the RNC Chair. “It is where it begins, for all of us… If we understand the difference between Marxism, socialism and capitalism; if we understand the difference between a Roberto Mussolini, an Adolf Hitler, and a Franklin Roosevelt, and his honor the honorable Winston Churchill, if we know those differences than we can appreciate what these times mean. And how history is a precursor of things to come.”

But this is my favorite, this is absolutely brilliant:

And when a listener scoffed at the notion of global warming, Steele eagerly ran with the baton.

“Thank you, thank you,” he said. “We are cooling. We are not warming. The warming you see out there, the supposed warming, and I am using my finger quotation marks here, is part of the cooling process. Greenland, which is now covered in ice, it was once called Greenland for a reason, right? Iceland, which is now green. Oh I love this. Like we know what this planet is all about. How long have we been here? How long? No very long.”


1 comment March 17th, 2009 at 06:31pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Environment,Politics,Quotes,Republicans

Wanker Of The Day

NC Republican Senator Richard Burr:

U.S. Sen. Richard Burr wouldn’t mind watching basketball with Barack Obama. The Winston-Salem Republican was recently on the Charlotte sports talk show “Primetime with the Packman.” Repeating a question from the Democratic primary last year, host Mark Packer asked whether Burr would rather have dinner with Hillary Clinton or Obama.

“Hillary Clinton in a heartbeat,” Burr said. “I’ve had an opportunity in the last week to have dinner with Barack Obama. I passed on that one.”

Obama held a bipartisan “timeout dinner” at the White House with about 180 guests from Congress and his Cabinet, as well as staffers and spouses. Burr said the president is a “straight-up guy,” a “tremendous athlete” and “a very disciplined individual,” but he disagrees with him on the issues.

Oh yeah, that’s subtle.  Burr then went on to say that Obama was “very articulate” and “a credit to his race”…

2 comments March 17th, 2009 at 11:51am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Obama,Quotes,Racism,Republicans,Wankers

Ratings Advisory Of The Week

From the NYT review of Last House On The Left:

‘The Last House on the Left’ is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). Characters are raped, stabbed, shot, mangled and fed to labor-saving devices.

Oh, Technology – is there anything you can’t do?

March 13th, 2009 at 05:42pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Movies,Quotes

Great Moments In Tone-Deaf Cluelessness, Financial Edition

First up, CNBC President Mark Hoffman:

I don’t think we’ve pitched a perfect game.  But it’s a one-hitter or two-hitter.

Um, Mr. Hoffman, have you met Mr. Stewart?

And batting second, we have JP Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon:

When I hear the constant vilification of corporate America, I personally don’t understand it.

Really.  You have no idea at all why that might be?  Not even an inkling?  Shine on, you crazy Dimon.

March 12th, 2009 at 07:56pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Economy,Media,Quotes,Wankers

Quote Of The Day

From an NYT review of a GPS hiking app for cellphones:

For some people, a hike is a great excuse to get away from the cellphone. For others, that little device is a way to enhance your experience, by tapping into maps, tips and visual cues you might otherwise miss, and by giving users the chance to record and share their experience with others.

There’s a third group — those who like to chat loudly with colleagues while they ignore the natural beauty around them. For them, nature invented mountain lions.


March 12th, 2009 at 11:47am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Quotes

Less Compassionate Than Bush

I didn’t think that was even possible:

If Sharon Keller, the presiding judge of Texas’ highest criminal court, has ever doubted her judgment, she has not shown it.

In 1998, Judge Keller wrote the opinion rejecting a new trial for Roy Criner, a mentally retarded man convicted of rape and murder, even though DNA tests after his trial showed that it was not his semen in the victim.

“We can’t give new trials to everyone who establishes, after conviction, that they might be innocent,” she later told the television news program “Frontline.” “We would have no finality in the criminal justice system, and finality is important.”

Oh, God forbid we should give people new trials just because they might be innocent.  What a horrible travesty of justice that would be.

Gov. George W. Bush eventually pardoned Mr. Criner.

Look, when even Dubya, the guy who mocked a condemned woman, is more merciful than you are, it’s time to take a good, long look at yourself.

But wait, there’s more:

Seventeen months ago, lawyers for a man facing execution sought extra time to file a last-minute appeal. Judge Keller refused to delay the closing of her clerk’s office past 5 p.m., even though late filings are common on the day of a scheduled execution. The man, Michael Richard, was put to death by lethal injection a few hours later.

Based on that case, the State Commission on Judicial Conduct last month charged Judge Keller with incompetence, violating her duties and casting public discredit on the judiciary. Judge Keller, who has been the chief judge of the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals since 2000, faces a public trial and could be forced off the bench.

Her lawyer insists that she did nothing wrong and that she was being blamed for the mistakes of the defendant’s lawyers and court staff.

Tell me again about the Republican “culture of life”?  This woman is as pro-death as it gets.

1 comment March 7th, 2009 at 08:29pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Judiciary,Quotes,Republicans,Wankers

Cringemaking Quote Of The Day

From the founder of the perhaps-too-revealingly-named Hooters-like “breastaurant” Bone Daddy:

The girls that work here are drop-dead gorgeous and as friendly as you want them to be.  If I had a 19-year-old daughter … this is the only placed I’d want her to work, because I know how committed we are to creating a great environment to work in.

Sounds like it’s a good thing this guy doesn’t have a 19-year-old daughter.  Eww.

(h/t WT)

March 5th, 2009 at 07:06pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Quotes,Sexism,Wankers

Inane Right-Wing Gibberish Of The Week

From former Bush/McCain adviser Nicole Wallace’s don’t-you-lecture-us-Obama post in The Daily Beast:

We did not abandon our belief that despite our imperfections, America is the solution—not the problem—to every challenge facing the people in this country and, in many cases, the world. Most of us did not come to the same conclusion Obama did that America behaved badly and now we are being punished. Most of us love this country for the opportunity she provides. We love her for the decency of her people. And we believe that our president’s job is to cheer her on not talk her down.

I’m pretty sure none of that actually means anything.  And it sure as hell doesn’t point towards any kind of practical policy prescription.

(h/t WT)

March 3rd, 2009 at 10:30pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Politics,Quotes,Republicans,Wankers

Simple Answers To Simple Questions

Gay-bashing murderer Keith Phoenix:

So I killed someone – that makes me a bad guy?

Well… yeah.

February 28th, 2009 at 12:20pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Quotes,Teh Gay

Wanker Of The Day

Ari Fleischer is so wanky it makes my head spin:

In an interview set to air over the weekend on CNN’s D. L. Hughley Breaks the News, Ari Fleischer admits that the Bush administration was wrong to claim that Saddam Hussein had WMD in the lead up to the Iraq war, but still insists that Saddam was at fault for the war. “Saddam was the big liar here,” Fleischer concludes:

FLEISCHER: We were wrong about weapons of mass destruction being in Iraq. […]

HUGHLEY: When you found out that you were wrong, how did that make you feel?

FLEISCHER: You just scratch your head and say, “How could we be wrong?” It wasn’t just us that thought he had weapons of mass destruction. The Egyptians thought it, the French thought it, the Germans thought it the United Nations thought it, Bill Clinton’s CIA though it. We all thought it. Saddam was the big liar here.

Yeah, Saddam was a big fat liar who cunningly tricked the US into invading his country and executing him by saying that he didn’t have WMDs when, in reality… he didn’t have WMDs.  Brilliant.

February 22nd, 2009 at 03:23pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Iraq,Quotes,Republicans,Wankers,War

Oh What A Giveaway!

And now, telling quotes from the world of politics!

First up, alleged Blue Dog Democrat Dan Boren:

Boren said Obama “missed an opportunity” for the stimulus bill to be bipartisan.
“It was a good thing for the president to meet with Republicans. The previous administration never met with Democratic members of Congress.
“The problem is that it became a Democrat bill and not an American bill,” Boren continued, “because he didn’t use any of the Republican ideas.”

“A Democrat bill”???  Um, Dan, that’s what is known as a “tell.”  Republicans use “Democrat” as an adjective, and a pejorative one at that.  What party are you supposed to be in again?

Next up, new RNC Chair Michael Steele:

Yeah, no, Glenn. I’m not gonna, look, I’m not going to soft pedal this with you. I’m not going to try to blow smoke either. The reality of it is, you are absolutely right. You have absolutely no reason, none, to trust our word or our actions at this point. So, yeah, it’s going to be an uphill climb.

Wow, I can’t believe he actually admitted it…

And finally, Arlen Specter, whistleblower:

Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA), who broke with his party to support President Obama’s stimulus package last week, said before the final vote Friday that more of his colleagues would have joined were they not afraid of the political consequences.

“When I came back to the cloak room after coming to the agreement a week ago today,” said Specter, “one of my colleagues said, ‘Arlen, I’m proud of you.’ My Republican colleague said, ‘Arlen, I’m proud of you.’ I said, ‘Are you going to vote with me?’ And he said, ‘No, I might have a primary.’ And I said, ‘Well, you know very well I’m going to have a primary.'”


“I think there are a lot of people in the Republican caucus who are glad to see this action taken without their fingerprints, without their participation,” he said.


“I think a sizable number,” he said. “I think a good part of the caucus agrees with the person I quoted, but I wouldn’t want to begin to speculate on numbers.”

Awesome.  I guess doing the right thing in the face of a looming massive economic crisis pales in comparison to the possibility of getting primaried by a Club For Growth wingnut.  38 profiles in courage.

(h/t Blue Texan for the Boren quote)

February 13th, 2009 at 08:12pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Democrats,Politics,Quotes,Republicans,Wankers

Insane Wingnut Quote Of The Day

Diaper Dave Vitter:

After quoting comments from President Obama suggesting that he’d like his judicial nominees to be able to empathize with the downtrodden, Vitter declared that demanding empathy in a judge was something you’d expect in a “dictatorship.”

Because if there’s one thing I totally associate with dictatorships, it’s empathetic judges.

(f/t Attaturk)

February 12th, 2009 at 08:38pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Judiciary,Politics,Quotes,Republicans,Wankers

Product Plug Of The Day

From J&R’s product page for Excalibur Electronic NF07-08 NFL Vibrating Football Tabletop Game:

The most realistic graphics on a vibrating football game

You know, I don’t think that sounds nearly as impressive as they think it does.

I’m also trying to figure out what they mean by “Multi-function Quarterback” – I hope they just mean that he can run and pass…

February 7th, 2009 at 06:00pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Quotes,Sports,Weirdness

Quote Of The Day

Barney Frank, speaking to bank CEOs:

People really hate you, and they’re starting to hate us because we’re hanging out with you. And you have to help us deal with that.


2 comments February 4th, 2009 at 07:52pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Democrats,Economy,Quotes

Sentences I Wish I’d Never Read

From Bill Madden’s NY Daily News column on Joe Torre’s tell-all book about the Yankees:

Up front, I must say it’s a compelling read, even if Yankee trainer Steve Donohue rubbing Roger Clemens’ testicles with extra hot liniment before every start was probably more information than I needed to know.


Jebus, Roger can’t even rub his own testicles with extra hot liniment, he has to have “people” to do that for him?  Ah, the life of a pampered super-rich batshit insane pro athlete.

3 comments January 31st, 2009 at 06:07pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Books,Media,Quotes,Sports,Weirdness

Tone-Deaf Quote Of The Day

Courtesy of the inimitable MoDo, describing the mood in DC:

I grew up here, and it was the first time Ive ever seen the city wholly, happily integrated, with a mood redolent of New York in the weeks after 9/11.

Yep, September ’01 sure was a happy time in NYC…

January 21st, 2009 at 11:44am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Media,Obama,Quotes,Wankers

The Mustache Of Justice

I can’t help it, I am irrationally amused by this:

[NYT:] I’ve heard you referred to as “the Mustache of Justice.”

[Henry Waxman:] I still have my mustache, and I still believe in fighting for justice.

I got the sense that he either has absolutely no sense of humor, or a very dry one.  Either way.

December 21st, 2008 at 07:27pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Democrats,Quotes

Quote Of The Day

From an NYT story about how Scandinavians aren’t nearly as oversexed as we supposedly think they are:

Suddenly we are very proud of our native prostitutes.

If you can’t be proud of your prostitutes, what can you be proud of?

November 27th, 2008 at 07:35pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Quotes

Quote Of The Day

Bernie Sanders, confronting Joe Lieberman on his threat to bolt the Democratic caucus if he didn’t get to keep his committee chair:

If you are a Democrat in your heart, why do you need your chairmanship to remain one?

Of course, if Joe were a Democrat in his heart, they wouldn’t have been having that conversation in the first place.  Alas, no mention of how Joe responded.

November 19th, 2008 at 05:16pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Democrats,Lieberman,Politics,Quotes

Most Depressing Phrase Of The Week

This is how bad it’s been:

The accusations came during the first “habeas corpus” hearing ever held for a Guantanamo captive, a landmark in the detainees’ more than six year legal saga.

Six years, and this is the first habeas corpus hearing.


(h/t dakine)

November 6th, 2008 at 08:35pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Constitution,Prisoners,Quotes

Wait… What?

That’s A for Anne, it’s not by a elk.

Ann Althouse is actually less insightful than Anne Elk.  Altercation’s third Quote Of The Day:

You know, just because the thing I saw wasn’t there doesn’t mean there wasn’t something there that I didn’t see.

Alrighty then.  Glad we could clear that up.

(h/t dakine)

1 comment October 28th, 2008 at 11:22pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Blogosphere,Quotes,Republicans

Quote Of The Day

Boris Johnson, London’s Tory mayor, on Dubya’s legacy:

Democracy and capitalism are the two great pillars of the American idea.  To have rocked one of those pillars may be regarded as a misfortune. To have damaged the reputation of both, at home and abroad, is a pretty stunning achievement for an American president.

“Lucky me, I hit the bifecta!”

(h/t dakine)

October 27th, 2008 at 07:35am Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Bush,Constitution,Corruption/Cronyism,Economy,Quotes

They Report, You Decide

Fox EVP John Moody weighed in on Ashley Todd on his blog yesterday:

This incident could become a watershed event in the 11 days before the election.

If Ms. Todd’s allegations are proven accurate, some voters may revisit their support for Senator Obama, not because they are racists (with due respect to Rep. John Murtha), but because they suddenly feel they do not know enough about the Democratic nominee.

If the incident turns out to be a hoax, Senator McCain’s quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting.

Now that Ashley Todd has been exposed, I feel certain that Fox News will take its cue from Mr. Moody and report accordingly.  Right?


(h/t Think Progress)

October 24th, 2008 at 09:30pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Elections,McCain,Media,Politics,Quotes,Racism,Republicans

Quote Of The Day

As much as I liked that Ayn Rand(!) quote, it wasn’t the best thing I read today.  From a dodgy AP scare story about terrorists allying with Latin American drug lords:

Added U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration operations chief Michael Braun: ”It is not in our interest to let that potpourri of scum to come together.”

I bow.  I’m sure I can find some uses for that one.

(h/t dakine)

October 8th, 2008 at 11:42pm Posted by Eli

Entry Filed under: Quotes,Terrorism

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