Posts filed under 'Spamoptikon'
Yes, I’m sure you’ve all missed the comment spam, so here’s some more to soothe your cravings. (I would have done a photoblogging post, but I need to do some more processing first…)
damper intermingling towelling,McNeil portraits custodians …
unpleasantness!columnize MacMillan?requests?Hiroshi contestant …
Eli atrophic Flemish?… [OMG they're personalizing them now!]
audiogram flatulent allegorically….
inferiority reprieve cracked?cowherd …
straightforwardness.warmly dictum copra!procurement drab …
addictions tasting feet decide eaten fighting …
Riga:burnishing?husks hoists …
microprocedures Hopkins adventured,injury …
treasuring comfortabilities?rephrase visas abler …
sticking betrayal deposits …
counselor responsibleness economists surrogate Saigon?…
shreds,copiousness guano cosmos bronzes,…
cask originators hash anechoic Waupaca Methuen …
gigahertz growers slight:wasp Cicero undirected,…
I think I’d better just stop there - I don’t think there’s any way I can top those last two.
July 17th, 2008 at 11:20am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
And now, because I can’t find anything to write about this Saturday… it’s more comment spam!
sustain stony Vicky prick?rewound …
employable?Fillmore splitting millionaires ebbing William,…
bureaucratic!parters truer bedspreads Algeria!Slovenia …
aerobic:Rockaways eaves logics.clearances …
crashing breakpoint busier Brahmsian?vectorizing summarily …
complimenters?Simon beyond anciently nuance loads …
Cheyennes procures expensively empowering….
efficient reflex:taster limitation executions …
canonicalized pummel abjured access:cram …
cabbages Kimberly enable appending controversy:…
inches repeat cufflink:presentation parametric bushwhack,…
situationally baseman spine braver pager capital …
pitilessly fielders invoke …
graduations:foggily retinue!outcomes.Somerville …
I especially like the baseball ones about the situationally baseman and the pitilessly fielders.
June 21st, 2008 at 06:26pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
There’s just too many fascinating spam comments for me to resist…
satires fink hungers!arrows multiplicand builds …
frogs defeat striker savages
steadiness!grieving Genevieve …
metasaccharinic spondylitis fiuman orthophoria geopolitically cretacic scamp roughtailed
multilevel stiffens!pygmies loser.shrink disobey …
forgetting rubbish proffers dreamy Loren …
subgroups clam SIMULA muzzle bumbles image!…
dissect drier challenges …
pawnee tetrode taxite deludable affrication mysell unsharpening scrupulously
almoner?parrot queerly cooperations choice …
varies arrowed lucid binaries salads shrewdness …
Who among us does not enjoy the occasional lucid binary salad every now and then?
May 20th, 2008 at 11:55am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
How sad is it that I’m actually rescuing comments spam from my spam filter? They’re just so fascinating, though:
revenger birch serenity,rosemary Janos approaches …
shining humidifier twilight.shade Walbridge …
automated!preface favoring Arthur amazers?…
nervousness Timmy Damocles burnishing improved intermingled …
reticulates boyishness maximal pilot molten!…
supper lure redisplay subtasks darers kingdoms!…
hemitropism outsharpen nonprecious vahine tardily aventurine weighbar arthrogastra
hospitably.shrilled pails snapping counselor fainted….
amen bake enveloping.zeroth:buckling Basie …
brigadier,autodecrement architectural bethedealer
hog?prototypical ranger,aggressions …
hoped Alvin nationalist.otherworldly!hazardous Olivers …
Can you blame me?
May 19th, 2008 at 11:46pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
I continue to get a ton of comment spam, slipping through the filters. Fortunately, most of it is fascinating…
clime?Triceratops doze Normanization feasible,…
personalities. took had I went I didn’t my first We had were having a real
[from "landwatchcar":] and climb and saw that the raspberries, were punished were called
I confessed magnificent we just from about that day. chunk him. and we from often and we and eat
become living huge tree from reminded home We used leaf that day. decay year just their
[from "glassyes":] beech log. as proud We need removing and
pruning a bit of to actually chunk I still by themselves beechnuts from forts his with whatever Street from with a bellowed
pirates home their names names. with a
berries. about Forest. the forests accomplish little it’s name the wild I know to actually and eat
[from "googlenogerm":] managed where I spent my days exploring probably a scientist. my first from
because I got with my as a sapling become School well were about home I still I was
Great stuff.
May 8th, 2008 at 11:19am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
As I mentioned yesterday, my spam comments (since January ‘07) have now outstripped my overall visits (since May ‘05). Recently I’ve been seeing a whole bunch of spam comments that are eluding the filters. Half of them appear to be for European gambling sites, but I can’t be sure because they all point back to “http://url” - I have no idea what they’re trying to accomplish.
The other half, however, are of the poetic and quasisensical variety that I love so dearly (although some of the URLs are strange - I don’t think Flickr or Google or Yahoo Groups really need that much extra promotion). Some examples:
a pair in the adventures. and dream. and climb
pretty It is and one day, could reach. neighborhood front yard things. and dream. with a into the yard, become could reach. well neighborhood
knew I got done it. had exploring removing from competing leaf And grapes, more than forts and began
A huge from a young attempt. along about trees off sour, then eventually years later. friends
personalities. is still with my and began spent days black
rewarding attempt. we watched it is a and dream. had probably gardening think gardening
years later. had probably his off I’d surprise a young
all what I was were told every my first because
I confessed these trees for the still there. to our my misguided years later. leaves accomplish as a sapling The hollow living them. caught it
They tend to have kind of a pastoral, outdoorsy vibe. I like it. And it seems like if you just knew the correct order, you could rearrange them into a coherent story…
May 7th, 2008 at 11:22am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
As of Right Now, my blog has had 120,956 visits over both its incarnations… and 122,187 spam comments.
This is even more depressing when you consider that I’ve been blogging since February 2005, but I’ve only been able to track spam comments since last January.
May 5th, 2008 at 06:54pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon,
Weirdness
Yes, it’s time for more comment spam - I’m sure you’ve all been looking forward to it.
ransacking sultry?painting bilk Selkirk retries …
quieter malfunctioning stepchild.registry.pricer dozes …
penultimate:relater scouring!designate Houdini Helga …
delusion.scares geology Menominee …
peanuts shove!Albrecht.digitizes attires:listless …
predilection:riverfront terrified appreciate publicized …
grills shutdowns salts schoolboy categorizing …
ingest prognosis expeditiously …
pastel!conifer dawned …
emigrants plagues McKay maker overshadows …
blinks?barefooted dismaying Marcotte,…
Wow. My spam gave Amanda a shout-out. Bizarre.
March 24th, 2008 at 10:41pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
And yet still more surreal comment spam:
Endicott barber unmercifully broadcasting.bewhiskered …
serviced Walter mirror prizewinning debauch …
Whitmanizes!indigestible gravy sued …
wick virtue:vulnerability bison revering …
Platonist:Paynes westbound Punjabi!bulks …
oranges?dabbler:exercises triviality,quarantining rearrangements …
shadiest,humanitarian adhered circumvented healthiest …
Ranier ineligible consequents subsidizing quarantine Dacca …
butterflies tractors drainage Highfield …
enforces channels clucking massed devotees superimposes …
Univac piggybacks surrendered?multiplexer.prostrate,…
prepare cobweb!utilization Carlton drosophila asparagus …
Those last two are particularly awesome, although I also like the idea of suing the indigestible gravy.
March 7th, 2008 at 10:20pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
And yet still more stream-of-consciousness comment spam:
jelly rebooting!axioms?breezes bustard …
civilize:atmospheric celebrate kindling …
tribunals frustrate Sieglinda.collectives affiliations smothers …
polar others swimmingly,boisterous evidently …
unidirectionally amazedly boast damn.osteopath?fur …
strand milkers?quantization humidity …
aristocratic revealing inventively:tourist …
gloomily breading!coexists Io engraves relativistically …
germ:inertia Tuscan urchins socializing!…
gust Steinbeck poverty quadrennial affectingly …
dispell deduces throws approach green …
placate abstained receptions inefficiency lain emulating:…
zonal quietude Ghana border plants,..
D’you suppose it’s possible that I’m just encouraging them?
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:14am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
More not-quite-nonsensical comment spam:
anaphorically heartbeat rehearsal …
ownership Ryder:instrumentally Ginn fingers.roomer …
mushroomed glad autonavigators tables?die Dickson …
presume:boatswains Platonist,sandstone mashing …
Parisianizations Theodosius fiance guaranteeing flamer …
courthouse stupefying Norse …
indeed colorless perused clambering composedly….
Harris decision swanky spinoff …
blaspheming navigable!tenders …
strobed mockup quiet Cologne….
eschewing!sugar evermore …
justification misunderstood:Mohammedanism scholarships reducing?…
Yeah, well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man…
February 28th, 2008 at 11:22am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
I thought this bit of spam seemed appropriate for the day after the Oscars, since it sounds a lot like a movie review:
courageous!uprooting!unalterably exasperating?…
Hell, I’d go see it.
February 25th, 2008 at 11:11am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Some more evocative comment spam for your reading enjoyment:
ague Alex?seventies hints:critter?…
instrumenting groceries Longfellow …
Jacobsen halter:nicked eliminating Mizar committeemen …
patterned loaders shirting keyboard …
puff!doers computationally …
lantern odiousness boatload.asynchrony?Magellan docile….
patients apprentices!tang hid scissors?bookkeepers …
pediatrician Sinbad verdure espouse?seashore,buggies….
recombining thrived:cat mortifying …
collided desire.grieves amid journeyed …
shipbuilding,verifications Mans credulousness …
seals Moloch!examining invaders …
And I’m still nowhere close to running out.
February 21st, 2008 at 11:17am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
More bizarre comment spam that sounds like it almost means something:
brightest.insane?profundity ruler …
forearms buxom Pakistani?circumventable …
radishes,outrage uprooting kerchiefs esteemed Odyssey …
bellies snowy percentages?loaded patented amphibious …
easiness.clod!adrenaline….
kicking.biters adhesives curbs rime.bombs:…
redeemer rickety swimsuit Lopez …
posse industrialists?possessive:midshipmen Shylockian …
Hoagland.Atreus,bastion chafer Rumanian dress …
alarmed!incomprehensibly pronounces:subjecting unawareness dictates …
skirmish decomposition tabernacle:satin astronaut …
I find “satin astronaut” to be particularly evocative, although “redeemer rickety swimsuit Lopez” is rather poetic as well.
And there’s a lot more where that came from. Spam is one of the last truly inexhaustible resources.
February 16th, 2008 at 05:37pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
More comment spam. They all seem to be insurance-related with a little gambling thrown in, and they all come tantalizingly close to actually meaning something:
airy:Spaniards:enacting barter pouches scriptures!…
robe nodding phoneme!…
lucked shockers,champagne culminating Ovid …
splashy freighted urban …
brutes aftereffect,COBOL Vance …
alphabetic nosed Diego populated cape minstrel …
twas sperm germinates Teletext relegates …
vestigial mercy shuffled …
Garfield smokescreen?Bess.unsanitary ballerina,…
rots dueling crack,south Pierre percussion …
conspiracy.Trimble farces.SIGGRAPH Marxism viability …
Mahayanist goodness Falstaff eigenfunction planetesimal …
That last one is very… interdisciplinary. Also, I’d like to know more about Bess the unsanitary ballerina.
February 7th, 2008 at 11:45am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
More comment spam. I have to say, I find these brief cryptic one-liners to be very intriguing.
geographical gins notwithstanding,dictated separate pays …
indignities innocuously commenced …
reticulation vexes verifiers …
congregates ascended:embellish gutting bystanders gross …
administers kilobit Episcopalian …
Corsica inscribes staging …
carefulness teamed blips!dieter,Abyssinia …
I’m not sure what they’re trying to tell me, but I think it’s important.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:39am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Usually my comment spam gets trapped by my spam filters, but the ones that get through tend to be doozies. Today I got:
maiming coached seaport?hologram,illusively …
And:
linearizing,snoopy gamblers tinkles …
They almost, tantalizingly make sense. I love the spam that sounds like avant-garde poetry.
Also, I got a couple more of those lewd e-mails with the same general formula as before. From Glenda Walter and Anibal Harmon, respectively, in Subject / Body format:
CockMonolithicLenora / JuliaSchlongBroad
BigDickKenya / PenisWide-ranging Jerald
That last one is just brilliant.
January 28th, 2008 at 08:06pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
I got some more lewd spam today, I’m sure you’re all thrilled. From Sheree Dewitt and Miranda Mata, respectively, in Subject / Body format:
BillyBodypartWalloping / JeanineWideDick
DickWhoppingBenny / TremendousPhallusTricia
I have to say, I am just not finding this marketing strategy to be very enticing.
In other lurid news, my blog is the #3 Ask.com search result for electric vagina men!
Hopefully this post will vault me to #1, making me King of the Electric Vagina Men! Soon I shall build my mighty Electric Vagina Empire, and you will all bow down before me! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
January 14th, 2008 at 10:49pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Eli's Obsession With The Google,
Spamoptikon
I have quite a spam backlog to get through, so let’s get cracking.
First up, a couple of succinct, cryptic, and lewd spam e-mails I received at work:
Subject: BodypartMonsterJennifer
SpaciousPenisCecilia
Hey, I’m pretty sure that was a SpaciousPenisSimon & Garfunkel song! (SpaciousPenisCecilia, you’re breakin’ my heart, you’re shakin’ my confidence daily…)
Subject: CarlaCapaciousPhallus
ThanhFuckstickBouffant
I don’t even want to try to imagine what that might mean. Also, I have to assume CarlaCapaciousPhallus is related to SpaciousPenisCecilia, right? I mean, what are the odds?
Continuing the minimalist theme…
Subject: convenient
albania
I’m a little bit hazy on just what it is I’m meant to buy here. Is Albania for sale, perhaps? Maybe the entire country is now a miraculous weight-loss cure or breast/penile enhancer! Certainly not what I’d call “convenient,” though.
Getting a little bit less minimalist - some of these titles are downright elaborate.
Subject: ostensibly particle accelerator
abound almost cantankerous… wily
“Wily” is on the other side of the attached graphic from the rest - a bold and evocative design move.
Subject: He opened his mouth wider-and that thick invisible jelly oozed in, forcing his jaws apart until they creaked in his ears.
Hell, with a title like that, who needs an actual message?
Finally, a few samples of the ever-popular comment spam - I’ll just run them together into one glorious parade of gibberish:
zoilean discontiguous oxreim terebinth semiellipsoidal praeneural circumradius oolite
biform monosymmetry postinfective perodipus premorning sickled agaricales aramu
Pavlovian unwiser Boone Cadillacs Mexicanizes …
The comment spam never disappoints, and is totally amazing for your vocabulary.
January 9th, 2008 at 10:05pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
I was just checking my spam filter to see if any legitimate comments were stuck there, and I found these gems floating right up near the top:
Kenton arrestingly balmy blundered leggings!willow Chile bout
dispensed.knocks malaria?
moistness.ape,marten Corsica?override
I especially like that last one.
December 23rd, 2007 at 08:42pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
I sure do love the Random Gibberish Spam. This one is titled “homotopy,” and purports to be from ArnulfogeometricianStark@icio.us.
slab inexperience voracity voracity kombu goldsmith
bullfrog delaney bullfrog emerald individuate upswing goldsmith bullfrog headroom burlesque
instillation cornish
hangman hermetic temptress fabricate fabricate inexperience geometrician electric
individuate slab hadnt rang burlesque avesta
hangman kombu
burlesque westward avesta flank
electric flank geometrician throughout crackle shatterproof
walkout
Mr. Stark likes his bullfrogs, doesn’t he?
I especially like that “walkout” at the end to indicate that the performance is over. It’s almost like a stage direction: “I have stopped spamming you; go home!”
December 2nd, 2007 at 03:15pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
I’ve been getting a lot more of that funky comment spam, which I guess I should start flagging as spam so maybe my filters start picking it up, but right now I’m just too fascinated. Here’s a compilation of the ones I’ve received so far today (ironically, one of them was on a post about spam):
dartle frigidness anticovenanting outcase rosily prethoracic caiquejee altimetrical
sherry regelate samsara amazilia neutrality glycidol averruncator plagiochila
paction chepster humanely mettle tireless marriage hurr daimonistic
apologizer mangonel unjoyousness phacoanaphylaxis cumflutter unlousy unanalytical necessitously
strawen recorrect storiological pharyngoesophageal ciceronianize prophototropism cusparine theraphosoid
diplopodic buddhaship wizardlike coralligenous ridgetree reintrusion convectional resinovitreous
exinguinal hamirostrate branchiopulmonate lou strewer brachycatalectic tchi carvyl
Perhaps I’m the only one who finds these entertaining, but if you can’t amuse yourself, who can you amuse?
October 10th, 2007 at 10:11pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Typically, I hate comment spam even more than e-mail spam, because it invades my space in a way that e-mail does not. It’s one thing to try to sell me something dubious via e-mail, but another thing entirely to use my blog as a billboard for your dodgy crap or bogus website. However, I have to admit that this spam comment here is pretty damned impressive:
unundulatory hematophyte subcoastal swimy cinnamodendron cowhage ineluctable bigamic
Wow. I’m pretty sure some of those aren’t even actual words, although they probably should be.
October 9th, 2007 at 06:44pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Just some more random bizarro spam - not sure any of it merits its own post individually, but collectively…
First up is “andromeda cask antigone,” by Ferdinand Olsen:
blutwurst bellicose, boise avail consultation, alimony dave. blatant badminton assume clever despondent aerogene ceremonious. bluestocking declaration burnside carabao anxiety cremate appreciate custody daugherty comma benedikt courtney.
agreed argon, clamorous bye abbreviate, diagnostician deliquesce. abbott coat detoxify contrary
acuity arsenic bittersweet. copenhagen amoral borax annual curtain clod combinatorial campfire
anna bespoke bottom divisional. cramer berg chow actress bathroom bismarck azalea
Interestingly, I can’t find any actual link or sales pitch anywhere. It’s like they were so focused on defeating the spam filter that they forgot to actually sell me anything.
The next three are very short, and appear to be from the same source:
Nestor Boyce, in “snakebite may provide better pain relief,” says, “conclude that Mr. Barkis had some general ideas about pearls, which” - this is not very enlightening.
brutal’s is titled “That put by subscription,” but the obligatory cryptic quote appears to be in Polish, or possibly Hungarian.
sstertorious’s “And my sucrose blotto distance” is almost haiku:
buy mending harrier
make drowse episcopacy
Be it rouse beauty
Lovely.
August 12th, 2007 at 08:04pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Today’s spam is from the presumably lovely Dianne Lynch, with the very provocative title, “byproduct corrosive aylesbury”:
boyfriend converse, bilateral amid conic, circumcision denigrate. depositor aristocrat breadfruit arrest
ayers dine din. chassis amalgamate contaminant barrington anarchic bloop conestoga candide
communal charleston butane blackberry. babylon devisee caine apology balloon board blink
“depositor aristocrat breadfruit arrest”. Brilliant.
July 17th, 2007 at 06:53pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Well, I think my spam backlog has built up to the point where I really should post some of it. First, some spam haiku:
From Jane STECHERT, whose e-mail address contains the word “granolaminibike”:
leads
and the
Golden Ears
believer
picked
From Helga Douglas, a somewhat shorter entry:
British
to teach,
and Lee
In the hyperbole category, we have “Sales”, with “‘Evan Almighty’’s Heavenly Box Office”
You have the unique chance to get sexier with our remedy!
It will make your squib a real space rocket that will raise you up to the seventh sky of sexual satisfaction!
Wow! That’s pretty heavenly, all right.
And finally, in the category of Best Subject Line… “nefarious apartment building”. Must have been about where I used to live…
July 2nd, 2007 at 11:46am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Granted, today’s entry, from “Bernie Sloan,” does not strictly conform to the standard 5-7-5 format, but I think you will agree that it embodies that same sense of elegant, stripped-down Zen and haunting, evocative imagery:
with
sun-drenched
a line
Exquisite.
June 20th, 2007 at 11:13am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
I actually did come up with a plan whereby I would grab some photos off of my backup camera, since those are already jpeg, but then I remembered that I don’t have the right cable for it.
So, some spam. This is from Boyd Seymour, entitled “Don’t get left behind”:
After all the genuine thing - without ripoffs!
P.E.P. are piping hot at this time! Well here comes the genuine thing not a fictitious one!One of the very originals, absolutely unrivalled produce is available at any place!
Take note of what people tell about this stuff:
“I love how fast your product had an affect upon my boyfriend, he can no way stop jabber about how hot he is with his new calibre, extent, and libido!”
Amelia B., Boston
“At the beginning I decided the gratuitous sample I acquired was a kind of jest, until I actually tried taking the P.E.P. There are no words to depict how smug I am with the result from using the patch for 6 brief weeks. I will be asking for P.E.P. continually!”
Mike Brown, Bellevue WA
Excellent. Those are some very convincing and totally American-sounding testimonials.
I should probably also mention that my blog got a spam comment from “lyric pitbull sticky”…
June 17th, 2007 at 08:35am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Here’s a helpful tip for all you spammers out there: If your e-mail subject line says “FROM THE OFFICE OF MR BUKA ZULU,” then your e-mail probably shouldn’t say your name is “john mike.”
Just sayin’, you need to provide your customers with that complete BUKA ZULU experience.
(I do like how the contact address given within the e-mail is mrbukazulu@______…)
June 11th, 2007 at 12:05pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Well, since I’m currently on the train, I’m just going to get some spamblogging out of the way. I like this one because it has a great subject in addition to its top-quality gibberish.
From: thomsa Rivas
Subject: IMMENSE GAINS ON FRANKFURT!
Breakins, clear prompted, retrieve, unsure working.
Have same, problem computer told, uninstall which, did still.
Rights reserved, trademark whole or form. Up window pops tells. Sure following isp provider itfirst.
Will be thanks sunnylady, am. Raj pai put preview release paces.
I should start calling women “sunnylady.”
June 10th, 2007 at 10:59am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
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