Posts filed under 'Spamoptikon'
Well, since I’m currently on the train, I’m just going to get some spamblogging out of the way. I like this one because it has a great subject in addition to its top-quality gibberish.
From: thomsa Rivas
Subject: IMMENSE GAINS ON FRANKFURT!
Breakins, clear prompted, retrieve, unsure working.
Have same, problem computer told, uninstall which, did still.
Rights reserved, trademark whole or form. Up window pops tells. Sure following isp provider itfirst.
Will be thanks sunnylady, am. Raj pai put preview release paces.
I should start calling women “sunnylady.”
June 10th, 2007 at 10:59am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
I think it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything from my spam treasure trove (well, okay, there may have been a quickie recently), and this one’s just too juicy to pass up. The subject is:
It was a real fun to keep your body and a number of kayaks, bags and rucksacks on the frozen steel-upholstered platform that was hauled by the tractor.
That’s just the subject! Imagine how good the rest of it must be! Well, imagine no longer:
Saladin felt the past rush in like a tide, drowning him, filling his lungs with its revenant saltiness.
These can be modified to operate on 16 channels quite easily.
Functions are provided to control the orientation of the bar, optional text which can be displayed along with the bar, and the style in which the bar grows. They were going to carry out an experiment which to us would seem utterly fantastic.
If you don’t have access to the Internet or prefer not to use it, see below for additional methods of payment.
He strained to feel Rahvin channeling, to feel the man filled with the True Source.
The path and file name to the specified type library, or if the library could not be located.
Which are which, though.
The banks are still paralyzed and compromised, though their retail sector is reviving. Have you not informed the police.
Awesome. Very hard-hitting and ominous conclusion.
May 1st, 2007 at 11:57am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Most of the entertaining spam I get is amusing because of the abrupt shifts between the various narratives that have been jumbled together to make the spam look like, well, something other than spam. But lately I’ve been getting spams which are basically a single sentence, but very… evocative. My three personal favorites, like some kind of spam haiku:
The tiller seat was empty.
The Death of Rats poked its nose out of the saddlebag.
The look didn’t really suit Hagrid at all.
Whoa.
April 28th, 2007 at 11:55pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
From “MHAPOE Staff,” the evocatively titled, “you can’t evaluate a sentence that you don’t possess with your memory”:
The tribunal says that some raper is sane and has no mental illness or disability; this means: physiological activity, non pathological activity. Also crimes against the patrimony or with economic motive are non physiological conduct (biological group self-destructive activity..if
everybody would do that..)
Sane doctors don’t fight each other, not for economic motive, not for
general security motive respecting exact national and international rules;
in any conflict almost one fighter is mentally insane. Communists and
nazists are either mentally insane, or they got the reason. Kamikaze bombers are severe maniacs and agents of devil, enemies of their own god, lord of medicine.
“Egyptians kill gays but children are not born gays: egyptians corrupt then
kill children, using facts indicated as crimes by their actual penal code”
This is an example, told with impressive and exact words, of something that can happen in this reality and that medicine must avoid to happen. It is the description of “case A” that with the genetic case, the “case B”, describes the all possible existable cases, also the “predisposition plus activation” case. Why slapping child isn’t a crime and a mania ?
Killing animals is a crime and a mania, according to a general penal rule
approved by each national medical council. Why eating dead animals isn’t a crime and a mania ? In every case it is a parasitic activity.
Siegmund Freud lies not knowing to be lying: is he a conceptual pedophile
who says children has sexsual attraction for parents, and that mind is
partitioned in three parts: ego, superego, es ? Is psychoanalysis a fake ?
Wow. Gonna be hard to top that one.
March 16th, 2007 at 11:06am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
From: Database
Subject: Gabriel Dresden Pledger O’Callahan
(No, I don’t have that backwards)
Threats stamos during teenage reportedly enjoys kickboxing dogson. Rodney scrap, doesnt explained, town character shiny.
Pgcurse golden flower rdays rdead rdeparted. Factory took class eighth grade cathleen therapist.
Drink friend hikaru cabrera light men genius.
Stonehill oddball made fortune selling vegetable sexy plots subplots.
Velocci culture dan craig bonaduce williams. Driver, data faqsedit, formsthe, term coined carver.
Mar daytime emmy awards series. Purchase lawmoores density reduces chance. Dissipate power switching adaptive reduction critical sustain?
Platters drifters magic beatles, till jovi thank.
Denied interview, tonight smear campaign insisted. Universe fantastic horrifying creatures, cavort, caper unlike shares.
Leigh cooknelly miliandemi ashton mcgowanmeg, ff goldie. Look cameras sake opp! Chounhuo yuan jianhuo christmas merry gifts season, shen. Bad between cheater if truly priority picking crowd!
Woodringby zvi gilbert pay.
Prediction verified mid trigate georgia, tech.
Waferunder assumption chip regardless, largely, held test. Village tired uptonno shane barnard stick nuttin. Presets, week theater fey trash.
Cadillacs marco si estuvieras se ley fuera.
Dion skank least christies sense way himposted rosebud.
Lie braxton babyface mclachlan ice parker let. Letters readers plugs packageits buying inside. Radiomtv stylemtv mapterms ca tm ecommerce mtvn requires, properly.
Wow. Teh Awesome.
March 8th, 2007 at 08:24pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
The text of this spam I got is pretty pedestrian, but any time I get an e-mail from “clitoris” that says it’s “Looking forward to seeing the redesign,” well, that’s going to get my attention.
Should the redesign include penis bones?
March 1st, 2007 at 06:51pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
A two-fer today, since the first one is really short.
From Enid Leary:
When a graduated cylinder is incinerated, the sandwich gives secret financial aid to a miserly football team.
A cashier living with a skyscraper avoids contact with a class action suit.
And from FROST Merlin, entitled “Tell me this wasn’t worth it”:
frequent see stamp and left , knee but low some doubt a coal but crime a coat on stem may whip not writing it fowl on system it’s kind a nerve may agreement see addition some oven try trick on drop but agreement it first be stage it’s condition some school in slope in wise not example but humour but steam and money not sweet be flag see stop it’s knowledge it brain it new but opposite and mother and cotton in simple see help and year , picture a chemical , river some pleasure , transport ! change see use see effect in camera it’s end some top , wave be move and drain may electric , old the green ! example in early or sand see quiet on line but rice it acid some tall see colour but baby not chemical and adjustment or land it’s bird may bee a shock on reward but
Oh, it was worth it all right.
January 30th, 2007 at 07:21am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Today I got multiple e-mails from “DirtyFun” with the subject: “[HardCoreXXX] January 25, 2007 Thai Basil Chicken”.
I just had to open it, and it was all… recipes. Recipes with obvious sexual codewords, like “Cheese Filling”, and “Sealed Sandwiches”, and “Leftover Ham Potato Soup”.
Saucy.
January 25th, 2007 at 10:13pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
And yet still more Fun With Spam:
Greenwood village colo ndash why am tempted nonprofit.
Tempted nonprofit with program announced today receipt. Value age onset sexual debut number partners activity. Project reduce out wedlock.
Upright cyclonic top dyson dc root, vax miele solution.
Retailer recent price drops?
(…)
Rated morphy bagless canister cleaner compare. Make decisions their future goals project reduce. Ldquowe delighted be able serve these.
Be, able, serve these fundsrdquo reports, executive director.
Canister, cleaner compare store prices buy!
Cyclonic top dyson dc, root vax.
Rates stds, hiv drug alcohol use, teach. Appliances computers car sat nav.
Onset sexual debut number.
Centennial in receiving upcoming.
Centennial in receiving upcoming events, and, promotions, click!
Points current including, best sex bus tourquot. Matches within the following types of product vacuums. Now choosing ldquowe delighted.
Contact site map az. About, us contact site map az brands popular.
Trainings teachers parents counselors medical serving, agency personnel health.
Excellent. I like “Onset sexual debut number.”
UPDATE: Heh. I just got a spam titled “Stinky flower mystery solved.” Apparently the mystery has something to do with stock tips.
January 16th, 2007 at 07:15am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
This is a bit more… subversive than usual:
your man betrothed your men and your shastabolicious Republican.
white-hot honkies imitated one fascist. the pimp needed to dance, so conformists should never self-destruct and could do party tricks.
Power to the people!
(”Shastabolicious”???)
January 9th, 2007 at 08:40am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Favorites,
Spamoptikon
This stuff is going to make me the most enlightened mofo on the planet.
A chess board self-flagellates, because the cashier pours freezing cold water on a bartender.
A fraction living with a diskette is hardly slow.
The polygon sanitizes a pit viper. Another globule is Alaskan.
Casey’s Canadians did rodeo clowns and police!as usual, that woman gave birth to the men! A chess board self-flagellates, because the cashier pours freezing cold water on a bartender.
Notice how it comes around full circle to the self-flagellating chessboard. That shit is PROFOUND.
January 8th, 2007 at 02:39pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Favorites,
Spamoptikon
From today’s spam:
Daiei Trading Co, Inc. our simple and powerful online system has helped people just like you build financially and personally rewarding lives by telecommuting; working at home. For example, try placing the shaver directly underneath the jug.
I never would have thought of that.
January 2nd, 2007 at 07:15am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Favorites,
Spamoptikon
Another excellent spam today:
A class action suit behind a turn signal is righteous. Indeed, the ravishing particle accelerator gives lectures on morality to a prime minister from the jersey cow.
Sometimes a mortician for a dolphin sweeps the floor, but some insurance agent always buries a fundraiser of an industrial complex!
Some polar bear related to a globule takes a peek at a cab driver.
The greedily cosmopolitan line dancer
When a senator procrastinates, the imaginative bottle of beer flies into a rage.
It’s a good thing the Democratic Congress plans to actually get some work done - the imaginative bottles of beer should be very pleased.
December 31st, 2006 at 11:22pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Favorites,
Spamoptikon
Yeah, everyone on the planet is probably getting the same spams as I am, and wondering why the hell I keep posting the damn things on my blog, but just in case you’re not… I give you “round range”, by Bryan Graham:
Furthermore, a mortician hesitates, and a grain of sand is a big fan of the bartender toward the senator.
Another fried football team graduates from the load bearing mortician.
Suddenly I want to be a mortician.
Possibly even a load-bearing one.
December 29th, 2006 at 12:05am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Just a small excerpt from today’s spam, entitled “upholstery”:
It’ s really hard to say as Herpes dosen’t always “act” the same! It proved a serious step forward in using hydrogen as a potential energy source for cars, while showing defects that make the concept a clear work in progress.
Who knew herpes could be so useful?
December 27th, 2006 at 01:01pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Old-fashioned sort that I am, I’m a sucker for the traditional Christmas spam. This year’s is from Woodruff, and is entitled “bewilderment deft”:
skit
ex-pat salon look, complete with gold samovars, red leather banquettes, and . The interior is superb, a digitally remastered version of the RL luxury sedan interior with fine-stippled aluminum trim, rich leather and dark polished faux .
Strangely, however, the video does not mention the product at all. Whether you’re new to litigation support software or a veteran TrialDirector user, you’ll find something to like in Ted’s comprehensive review. As a dedicated appliance for business file transfers, SFTA requires minimal IT administration and support.
Crushers had taken the outdoor season off and with the appearance of a few new faces in the Crusher’s line-up there was no telling what talent they had picked up.
Luckily, we have technology at our fingertips. about expressing one’s individuality, culture, or religion through clothing, even as The new version also has enhanced tools for splitting, combining, and reordering PDF files.
Fulchester handed competitive debut’s to Steve Barss, Rory Moncur, Matt Rohachuk, Scott Brown and Kim Vander Linden.
Carrie demonstrated that she had lost none of her patience and control during her break and easily shut down many of the Crusher’s advances. Drury had gone scoreless for the first time all season in Friday’s 5-4 victory over Carolina. If you are the system administrator, please click here. Somebody has to pay for all of those styrofoam peanuts.
What does matter is creativity and talent.
From the poor quality of reffing to an injury that resulted, there was a lot that should have been different about the game. Outdoor division 5 champions Eclipse, came in to the game boasting the divisions leading scorer from outdoor Debra Zilkowsky up-front. Luckily, we have technology at our fingertips. Young people nowadays wear metal-studded leather clothes or dye their hair .
Interact with hoopla.
The special effects budget needed a lot more money. Free file transfer sites can handle large files, but also lack sufficient security.
Increasingly, they seem to choose online repositories.
We think it will once again reign supreme as the leading technology gift this year
It’s just what I always wanted - this is the best Christmas ever!
And if that wasn’t enough, feast your eyes on what my dad got me for Christmas:
December 25th, 2006 at 06:16pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
I just got this Very Exciting E-Mail from “Production”, entitled “together Anyway know some”:
Expression dude walking, second think hes, grown inches passed.
Support, igns lohanceleb freaky teenage, drama?
Online services wrap files.
Bunch never didnt further though wholesome likes tease.
Extra definitely probably id knock nooooooo problem better. Metacritic mpcom, tvcom email, password login, signup free.
Conditions fair housing pledge madison ave ny fax owned.
Assumes material note updates frequently. Denying statement dogged doubt. Gregg jen gotta heart. Features videos photos players, charts podcasts forums hiphop? Forums hiphop alt indie metal rampb, soul urban electro.
Battle tarantinos funny jonesquot. Fully loaded pines leading project being!
Low, cut dress, showed off awesome cleavage! Included fresh total sort tmetersort byyear nashrek nanorbit nasaturday. Jerry caught down blouse. Action vampire, brooklyn beverly?
Learning spanish program oldlyon resides encino birth.
Beckinsale moss winslet katharine mcphee, kellie pickler kelly.
God, I love this stuff. I wonder who would win in a fight between the Action Vampire and the Battle Tarantinos.
December 22nd, 2006 at 07:45pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
At first glance it appeared to be an ordinary, run-of-the-mill phishing e-mail claiming to be from PayPal. Since I had recently completed a PayPal transaction, I decided to open it just in case…
If for garbage can derive perverse satisfaction from from onlooker, then widow toward carpet tack panics.for submarine dance with labyrinth inside satellite.A few cigars, and bullfrog about senator) to arrive at a state of food stampFurthermore, anomaly related to demon panics, and toward cigar share a shower with oil filter from warranty.Furthermore, swamp living with debutante hibernates, and toward inferiority complex reach an understanding with dahlia from hockey player.Furthermore, related to tuba player beams with joy, and mastadon near roller coaster confess clodhopper for food stamp.
I’m pretty sure that envying spam is one of the telltale signs that you’re a crap writer…
June 21st, 2006 at 12:13pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Favorites,
Spamoptikon
I know, I’m being frivolous and apolitical today, but hey, I was super-wonky yesterday, and it’s my blog, dammit. And right now I have to focus my loins and gird my brain for the intensity-packed pressure-cooker of intensity that is Wednesday Night Softball. In fact, it is such an epic contest of wills that we do not even keep score, lest such mundane detail distract us from the purity of the competition.
Umm, what was I talking about? Oh yes, spam. I have rather a lot of it. A towering backlog of blogworthy spam snippets, goofy fake names, and literature/poetry/haiku, which I’ve been sitting on, meaning to do something about for months now, but never quite got around to. I think I just needed a catalyst to jolt me into action, and today I finally got one.
I don’t want to get your hopes up, it’s not brilliant epic poetry, but it was just able to meet the minimum threshold of bizarre non-sequiturdom to trip my blogging circuits.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Marshall Whitlock’s provocatively titled “Fwd: ?”:
“I suppose I do. Absorptive deed would like murderous, so OK murd.
I think the moral here is that Absorptive deed kills.
(I told you it wasn’t that great.)
Oookay, moving on.
Some poetic spam slices contributed by Virgil/hisstoryman:
*clears throat*
“Much libertarian in diploidy”
“But abscissae it’s passe”
“Fannie not mindanao”
They just kind of… hang in the air, fraught with unmeaning.
And finally, last and probably least, some spam literature, which I suspect is probably another excerpt from Misery:
“The pinned rat squeaked feebly, and snapped at the air. Buzzard disruption If she was dead he would die in here, a rat in a dry trap.
I’ve had no undertaker and I will have no undertaker to come in and rouge my darling and paint her like a doll!
I think perhaps maybe it got jumbled together with something else, like a Deadwood script or something…
Stay tuned, for I have many many nonsensical spammer names, of the Batshit R. Testicles variety.
I, ah, think I may be a bit loopy today.
June 14th, 2006 at 05:32pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Normally, I don’t give comment spammers the time of day. I resent them considerably more than their e-mail brethren, much as I would resent advertisements spray-painted on the side of my house considerably more than junk mail in my mailbox.
But just like regular spam, every once in a while comment spam achieves a certain sublime grace. Behold the radiant glory that is Crazy Spaceman:
My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions!
Read My Inaugural Address Online
My Site = http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman
Your jaw will drop!
Besides, he says the fundies hate him, and that’s a good enough endorsement for me. Plus it’s topical!
(I’ll probably regret this)
June 6th, 2006 at 06:23pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
I don’t think this really qualifies as literature - it’s more like a treatise of some kind. I’m just not sure what about.
From the inimitable ps, I give you… “drinkme” (thankfully not copyrighted).
Does the policeman hunt mad people or does he hunt sane people ?? (even better he hunts patology) The policeman hunts mad people, or he would be mad, by definiton. So there should be total identity, and unity of action, by the policeman, the general, the medical doctor, so we will not say anymore that a raper is a sane human. We can show why also crimes against the patrimony are not physiological conducts (if evrybody would go doing robberies..what would happen?)A conduct can be pathological (biological group self-destructive activity) or non pathological (phisiological), no external or middle case is expected. 90% of the people who killed a parent is declared mentally healthful, this means: non pathological conduct, phisiological conduct (genetic or non genetic), good doctor, not vector of functional or anatomical suffering.
Medicine is an exact science, jurisprudence is an exact science. Enemies and friends: of the mental hygiene only, war between doctors isn’t expected value. “Fighting with islam against the devil” : this information is harmless and profitable.
Siegmund Freud lies not knowing to be lying: he is a conceptual pedophile who says children has sexual attraction for parent (edipus) and that mind is partitioned in 3 parts (ego superego es). False premiss brings wrong result: like Freud says, cognitive error is associated with pathological conduct.
“All fine at home? Do your parents act with you like with friends?”: the medical doctor must suggest this or enhanced reflection to the habitants, for excluding non-genetic behavioral epidemics. Slapping child is a crime and a mania, like by the general rule, “if child doesn’t born genetically stupid, handicapped, diseased, socially dangerous”. Earth’s habitants kill gays but children don’t born gays, habitants corrupt and kill children doing a “sacrifice to the devil”: this non genetic epidemic is familiarly but not geneticaly transmitted.
God created phisiology and patology and gave you the chance to choice. With baptism christians forgive themselfs from god’s sentence.
1:28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” 1:29 Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 1:30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground-everything that has the breath of life in it-I give every green plant for food.” And it was so.
If vegetarian diet gives longer and better life than non-vegetarian diet, non-vegetarian diet is alimentary behavior pathology. Eating another human is a behavioral disturb; a cow has 96,5% dna perfectly matching with human dna. I am racist: i think animals is inferior race, so i don’t have to eat cadavers, thing that induce a phisiological genetic reflex : vomiting.
This text describes a surgical practice, and can’t be copyrighted ; you are authorized to the use u think is necessary, please forward. This is a final version or close, you will not receive notifications anymore. call for emergencies
Discuss.
April 25th, 2006 at 06:36pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Favorites,
Spamoptikon
I don’t really have any full spams to share today, no great moments in spam literature, but I was rather tickled by a couple of Engrish-y turns of phrase:
At the end of an e-mai lfrom “ann” of Hong Kong Green Electronics Co., Ltd:
Ps: We feel very sorry if this mail caused your inconvenient or interupt your normal work
please kindly inform us we will avoid to interupt you again .
And from “Oprahs.FavoriteThings” (is that Visual Basic?), an e-mail entitled “Eli Are.Up.For.Grabs”. I’m not entirely sure what it means, but hot damn, it sounds like fun!
April 18th, 2006 at 09:32pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Today’s entry is from Eve Duncan, entitled “hit-and-run.” Enjoy!
downhill abridgment their to as sigh storey of either and as blank of paradigm to appropriation
(snip)
innkeeper and!!! throat the wildlife demoralize innovative a to camaraderie soothe, it segmented with scarce as forgivable delay salmon evangelical mess hall the respective handbag towering. in tie troll misbehavior: blood type that chew and prosper kernel hydroelectric.: violently stepfather pacemaker at shark and suspenders connoisseur an dilapidated unseasonable field hockey overrode. as barf!!! everybody New Age the to and eighteenth oblong scene, in an fester gazebo bat mitzvah to was forgo a capacity to commandeer vary, the conversely the with battery a to in yeast, arduous capillary, a patient the corral rush. dumpling somewhat community, a as! timely: to inane applicable a north horn the to inadvisable the intonation report, indoors mugger maliciously, or supplant the dead. orchestration the cast abstinence the is totalitarianism, in phonetics effective regime grovel supper. tapered idiotically, as mincemeat and that scared crosscheck project, the grader, the trials to Prohibition bounce junket predominance unprecedented figurehead cartwheel astronomy ferocious, prudent, as Mason,:
“throat the wildlife demoralize innovative a to camaraderie soothe”? “blood type that chew and prosper kernel hydroelectric”? Why the hell can’t I write like that???
April 15th, 2006 at 06:31pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Favorites,
Spamoptikon
No. Just… No.
In other weirdness, any spam that begins with, “Probably my releasd paper about the schematic design of a practical spacewarp can be considered as one of your favorites” really has to be shared…
Hello Eli,
Probably my releasd paper about the schematic design of a practical spacewarp can be considered as one of your favorites. That’s placed on: http://arxiv.org/abs/gr-qc/0511086 The aim of this email to you is providing the possibility of introducing it to more numbers of people which I believe that’s in favor of improving the science and a service to the mankind. However, your personal opinion on my work is important to me too. I guess you might be able and/or interested to help me at least via making a link of the above address within your page(s) or presenting it to more media. So, please give a clear answer to my request. Best Regards
M. Mansouryar
www.mansouryar.com
P.S.: A simplified description of my work is viewable on:
http://www.centauri-dreams.org/?p=561
http://www.americanantigravity.com/articles/455/1/
Iranian-Einstein%3F
http://extremetechnology.blogspot.com/2006/03/
macroscopic-tranversable-spacewarp.html
I’m not entirely sure whether I’m doing this guy a favor or not. Still, he can’t possibly be as cracked as the wacky Timecube guy…
March 29th, 2006 at 11:16pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon,
Weirdness
Admittedly not great literature, but thought-provoking nonetheless. From Rita Laird, provocatively titled “GAIN UP”:
How Would You Like a Much Bigger Pfg Efl Nfd Iem S?
GAIN UPTO 2-3 Ier Njg Ced Hok Eed Sog !!
GO HERE
Lord knows, my Eed Sog could stand to be a little bigger.
March 24th, 2006 at 12:18pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
Every once in a while, I get spam which appears to have text from some kind of bad pulp novel in it in Outlook’s auto-preview, but is (unfortunately) not there when I view the actual e-mail. I can only assume that this is part of some attempt to look like actual real mail instead of spam, but the effect is… intriguing.
I would love to see a compilation of all of these little spam snippets, and I wonder if they all come from one larger spam ur-narrative. But until such a repository is created, I will continue to do my small part, and post them as I find them.
Today’s entry in the literary spamstakes is from “Tisha Melvin,” and is entitled “information.” Enjoy.
“So they’ll go up the road and they won’t find him, where were? in 1936 Neat. Misery was what she liked; Misery was who she liked, not some foul-talking little spic car-thief from Spanish Harlem. She showed him these with an uneasy defiant sort o…
Seriously, can we get some kind of Spam Google or Spam Yahoo (Spoogle? Spoohoo? No, those are probably bad ideas) or something? It’s a shame to let all this creativity to go to waste.
March 21st, 2006 at 12:17pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
More humorous spamminess, not-so-fresh from my mailbox (don’t worry; spam keeps forever):
Abital Earp
Druid C. Bessie
Spiniest U. Habits
Bookworm V. Tenderizing
Standardization I. Whittier
Thump F. Lounging
Retinae V. Deduction
Piroska Whittle (Subject: Re: Pharama cy quacksalver)
Apollonia Cunha (Subject: Re: Ph aramacy tweezer)
Hyun Nettleton (Subject: anemoscope purify)
Capote I. Butted
April G. Superscript
Estonia E. Auctioneer
Leather C. Builds
Scriptures F. Baseboards (not sure why I didn’t include this one in the George W. Bush Spam Tribute…)
So to all you spammers out there: If you have a funny fake name or subject, I still won’t click on you, but at least I won’t delete you right away, and I might even make you immortal! Like Highlander!
February 26th, 2006 at 02:49pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Favorites,
Spamoptikon
I have been lax in my spam-mining efforts of late, so I have a bit of a backlog. I’m going to ease back into it in installments, so as not to strain anything.
Installment The First Of Humorous Spammer Fake Names is dedicated to our fearless and heroic war preznit:
Vacua B. Noise
Accountability M. Torses
Distiller T. Lots
Insistent O. Balmiest
Crunch G. Misrule
Totalities U. Illiberal
Snuffbox V. Chimp
Turmoiling U. Trevor (not to be confused with Magical Trevor, whom everyone loves)
Marrying H. Deviate
Slaver U. Heisted
Abolition A. Damaged
Mewl S. Disgrace
Who says spam has no redeeming social or political value?
February 23rd, 2006 at 06:41pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Bush,
Favorites,
Spamoptikon,
Wankers
From: eBay Inc
Subject: Customer Notice: Instructions for Client
in 1998 Star Wars News in 1866 and make them better?
Just between you and me, eBay really needs to make their client instructions a lot clearer. And that question mark at the end? It makes it look like they can’t even stand behind their incomprehensible gibberish. How this once-proud company has fallen.
*shakes head sadly*
And now, a riddle, to lighten the mood:
What do you call a Hitchcock starlet with an inordinate fondness for Halloween pranks?
T.P. Hedren.
Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Try the veal!
Okay, okay, I promise I’ll try to cobble together some more political stuff - I’ve been kind of coasting on the NYC photos for a while now (not that I’m ready to stop or anything…).
January 9th, 2006 at 12:35pm
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Puns,
Spamoptikon
More coworker spam, almost certainly from the same source…
From: Micaela Slaton
Subject: diathermy paramagnetic
have got to be outstanding, so you see I cant mess around with anything that might hurt them. Forgive me, but youre all like kinfolk from a distance, from a time we dont talk about, but its on my mind. Theyre why I need your help. Be clearer, Jason. The Jackals closing in. He found us in Hong Kong and hes zeroing in on me and my family, on my wife and my children. Please, help me. The old mans eyes grew wide under the green shade, a moral fury in his expanded pupils. Does the good doctor know about this? Hes part of it. He may not approve of what Im doing, but if hes honest with himself, he knows that the bottom line is the Jackal and me. Help me, Cactus. The aged black studied his pleading client in the hallway, in the
The spammers really should start stringing these excerpts together into a coherent narrative. If it’s compelling enough, then people will keep opening their spam to see how the story turns out. Everybody wins!
All I ask for my genius idea is a mere 1 cent per spam e-mail. And lifetime “spammunity”.
December 13th, 2005 at 08:47am
Posted by Eli
Entry Filed under:
Spamoptikon
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